OA-Penis? Man Caught Shampooing Semi-Erect Genitals On A Bus

So as it turns out this pensioner was using his bus pass for something other than a free ride.

74-year-old Philip Milne was caught with his hands in places he shouldn’t have while travelling from Bletchley to Bedford in England.

A Bedford Magistrates’ court heard yesterday that the pensioner was caught shampooing his privates by a mother and her son, after they “heard there was something going on” and turned to investigate.

Bedfordshire News reported that Milne had visited a local swimming pool earlier that day, August 13^th, and was having some issues with his briefs.

OAP Milne had a brief problem on the bus...

Prosecutor Camille Gifford explained that Milne claims he had unzipped his trousers to use some shampoo to soothe an irritated area. "In essence the defendant was masturbating while on the bus,” she said.

“He had his zip undone on his trousers and was rubbing his penis and his testicles."

"He says he became irritated but didn't have the ointment and instead used some shampoo to soothe his groin,” Gifford added.

Milne, who represented himself in court, admitted to one charge, an act of outraging public decency.

"I'm not disputing what was done was wrong but bear in mind I thought I was being discreet," he said.

Court heard that Milne was ‘semi-erect’ at the time of the incident and added, "I was treated like a hardened criminal."

The OAP was fined £75, and also made pay £85 court costs and a £20 victim surcharge, totaling to £180.

We can’t be sure if Milne had his bus pass revoked, but if ever there were a reason to cancel a bus pass, this would definitely be it.