How sex can help you overcome your body issues

It can be tough, at times, traversing the fertile ground of relationships, with the relentless give and takes and being expected to know exactly how the other person is feeling.

Allowing ourselves to be naked in front of another person is more than just a physical thing. It’s allowing yourself to be vulnerable, open to criticism or mockery, exposing what we consider our biggest flaws. Author and journalist Brittany Gibbons is well versed in the field of body image, having gone through a litany of issues herself. Her memoir, Fat Girl Walking was a New York Times best seller and received massive critical acclaim. Over three years ago Brittany decided that she was going to have sex with her husband every day for a year. Her reasoning behind this? She felt uncomfortable and embarrassed in her body.

“I remember getting out of the shower, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and wondering who let my mom in here? From that point on, I didn’t let myself be naked. I kept the lights off during sex, hid my stomach and boobs inside a camisole, and waited for my husband to leave the bedroom before barrelling from the shower to my closet to get dressed.”

For her, having sex every day for a year forced her to face her body every day.  

(image via Brittany herself)

At first, Gibbons described the nightly romp as a ‘massive chore’, the work-from-home mum of three would much rather be watching TV in bed and eating than taking a tumble in the sheets. As the months passed, however, she found that she quite enjoyed sex-she was even looking forward to it. She tells

“Sex begat more sex, and those connected, loved-up feelings began to creep outside of the bedroom-or, in our case, the laundry room, the closet, and our garage- and into out everyday lives. We were more romantic with each other, touching arms as we passed, kissing longer before work-and not just the cold familiar peck. Our relationship was stronger and better when our intimacy was flourishing.”

Three years later Brittany is still seeing the benefits of her body experiment. She describes how she is at ease with her body, warts and all.

“…I was no longer hyper-aware of the sounds my curvy body was making. Like the way my thighs clapped together or my tummy smacked his. I stopped that primal run from the shower, and now lazily walked to the closet naked. I made school lunches in my underwear, and didn’t reflexively pull away when Andy came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.”

However, she has admitted that she doesn’t still have sex with her husband every night

(image via Brittany herself)

“We learned that it’s hard and that’s normal. The majority of people around you are not having sex every single day.” While sex certainly helped with her marriage, it above all helped her to accept herself. “Having regular sex with my husband isn’t making my marriage divorce- proof, or immune to infidelity or angst, but it is helping me feel confident enough in my skin to survive it if it does happen"