Life | 2 days ago

It was the hybrid meal we all embraced and loved - but, alas, brunch has now developed notions. Fierce notions, in fact.

From reservation fees (say, what?) and queues down the road, to overpriced Bucks Fizz and the totally unnecessary hipster twist on just about EVERYTHING.

Here are seven brunch-related fiascos we can no longer be arsed with:

1. Pretending brunch is not about alcohol

I call it Sunday morning drinking, others call it brunch. Whatevs.

2. Deconstructed stuff

I don't want Eggs Benedict deconstructed, served on a flat piece of wood, a piece of old slate, or in a miniature shopping trolley. Likewise, I do not want my Bloody Mary in an upcycled tin can or an antique Mason jar. Hashtag: WE WANT PLATES AND GLASSES.

3. Brunch photography

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If you eat brunch and no one Instagrams it does it even count? Apparently not. Can we all eat now? Cos my food went cold about half an hour ago.

4. Uncomfortable seating arrangements 

For the love of the little baby Jebus ENOUGH with the miniature and misshapen tables that you can't even put your stupid piece of slate on. Unstable chairs are a health and safety hazard for hungover people.

5. Fizzy pop

Boo hiss to homemade hipster soft drinks and organic juices you've never heard of. Drinking fermented mushroom tea when you'd step over your granny for a Fanta is not my ideal Sunday morning.

6. Bread that's not even bread

That awkward moment when all your friends pretend the artisan gluten-free Lebanese bread-inspired non-bread pitta is totally delicious.

7. Dogs

I love my dog but...can we just not?

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food, Brunch