In all honesty, I need help in this department.
No matter how cool I think I’m playing it; no matter how much time I leave in between texts or how care-free I think I’m being – I can just not play it cool.
I say something stupid. I say something that’s meant to be a joke but comes out the wrong way. I say something that has a million spelling errors in it even though I write for a living.
I just can’t do it. One of my friends is so cool and breezy and comes out with the best one liners. But for some reason, I fumble and word vomit. Not cute.
So, I was pretty delighted when I came across this article which has hints and tips by Chloe Carmichael, Ph.D., a psychologist practising in New York.
She gives a few key points into how to play it cool… and I’m all ears. If you want to try play it cool with a lad/gal you really fancy too, then keep reading.
One of the first things Chloe recommends is making a joke. “Starting an inside joke and understanding how to gently tease over text is an art—and a nice way to keep things feeling light-hearted,” she says.
“Plus, by being lighthearted you make it easy for someone to have a back and forth with you without feeling overwhelmed or concerned about obligations.”
Another point that Chloe mentions is to try not to be too available. Make sure they realise that you’re not waiting around and won’t be single forever.
“Women are often concerned with seeming too available. [You’re] not going to be standing around waiting,” so in other words, make sure they know it’s now or never.
Chloe also says that if you use a pick up line, you will easily be able to gauge how interested they are. “If you use a pick-up line, notice how they respond and how quickly they respond.”
“[If they show] a great deal of responsiveness, receptiveness, motivation, and desire to continue that connection,” then you’re good to go.
Chloe also suggested that if the person you like is part of a bigger friends circle, throw out a group text so it might be easier for you to start a conversation with him in a more neutral setting.
“If you want him to pursue you, create an opening for him to do that. Sending a neutral, friendly text—especially a group text like this one—is almost like being at a party and wearing an attractive outfit that could send social signals that you’re open to being approached.”
Right, now go text that person you fancy.
