The 10 Weirdest Things You Can Rent Online

Recently we wrote about the fact that you can now rent a large group of paparazzi to follow you around and take your picture – y’know, so you feel famous like.

It’s a strange thing to rent, isn’t it? You want to know the worrying thing? Renting some paps is relatively tame compared to some of the other stuff you can rent on the internet.

Here are the top 10 weirdest things that you can rent online…

10. A Bridesmaid: Don’t have enough friends to accompany you on your special day? No problem. You can actually rent a real-life bridesmaid that will show up, do bridesmaid-y things and then leave once the wedding is over (and you’ve paid her a wad of cash for the privilege).

If she’s asked how she knows the bride and groom, she won’t blow your cover by telling everyone she’s been rented out for the day, oh no. Instead she’ll come up with a generic back story so no one knows you had to pay her to wear the dress.

9. A Friend: We all know that the older you get, the harder it can be to make new friends. It can be so awkward trying to meet new people. Why not bypass the awkwardness and instead head to Rent A Friend.com where you can simply pay someone to hang out with you and listen to your troubles. Are we the only ones who find this tragically sad?

8. A Puppy: If you’ve always wanted a puppy, but are put off by the effort and mess that is associated with them, why not rent one instead? A well-behaved, specially trained puppy will be delivered to your doorstep. You can play with him or bring him for a walk for an hour, then someone will come to pick him up and bring him to his next play date appointment.

7. A Grandmother: Is your Grandmother no longer with you? Do you miss all those jumpers she was always knitting you? Why not lease a new Grandmother from Rent A Grandma.com?

This website specialises in “placing caring women, possessing deep life experience with families as Nannies, Baby Sitters and in-home Care Providers.” Your new Grandmother will also cook, clean, look after your pets and tutor you in various life skills. Awesome.

6. Rent a Baby Bump: In 2007 a woman named Jennifer Gordon rented out her pregnant baby bump. Obsessed with football, Jennifer simply wanted two tickets to the Super Bowl. In exchange she would advertise something on her belly and showcase it at the sporting event.

Since this stunt, there has been an insane increase in the number of women happily sporting advertising slogans on their baby bumps. Eh…strange…right?

5. Rent a Pilgrim: Carlos Gil is a Portuguese computer expert who happily rents himself out as a spiritual pilgrim for people who are too busy to undertake pilgrimages themselves. Carlos goes on these pilgrimages, travelling by foot, on behalf of the people paying him. He charges over €1,000 per journey. Needless to say, Carlos is just one of many pilgrims cashing in on advertising their services online.

4. A Husband: At Rent A Husband.com, dozens of men are just waiting to fix your leaky pipes. Eh, we mean that literally. Yes, you can rent a man who will come to your house, fix anything that’s broken, hang up some pictures, remodel your kitchen, sort out your new television and put down some new carpet. You’ll be left wondering why you even need a real husband in the first place…

3. Rent a Family: Yes, you can genuinely rent yourself an entire family – complete with mam, dad, siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins. Savvy business people in Japan came up with the idea after realising just how many people out there don’t get on with their nearest and dearest.

The rented father will happily help your kids with their homework, he’ll also barbeque and deal with any annoying neighbours you have. Replacing your actual family with actors? Majorly disturbing…

2. Designer Underwear: If you’ve ever lusted after some super-expensive designer lingerie then you’ll be pleased (and possibly grossed out) to discover that you can actually rent it out. Yes, you can rent out underwear that has probably already been worn by someone else at some point in time. Shudder.

1. Rent David Blaine: Remember David Blaine the slightly freaky street magician who once holed himself up in a perspex box in London? Well for a measly €150,000 you can rent him for an hour and get him to perform strange acts of magic in your home. You could also get him to do the hovering. Either/or.