We all know that the first few months of any relationship are pretty plain sailing. The honeymoon period, where your get butterflies at their text messages and daydream about a romantic future, tend to sail through without any major breakdowns in communication. It’s fair to say, for most couples in the honeymoon phase, people likely reckon you to a modern day Noah and Allie… So what happens when the passion subsides? When you’re not as likely to respond to your other half’s messages, or would rather a night with friends than staying in with a Netflix marathon, how can you relight that fire? According to couple therapist Margaret Paul, self-abandonment is the one thing that kills passion in a relationship. Explaining the concept, Paul writes: “When you don't push yourself to grow and show up to be the best person you can be, your relationship will absorb the toxicity.” Paul argues that although it’s hard not to be present during the blissful opening months of any relationship, it’s the people who pull away or look for fault when the relationship starts to settle that can kill off any real intimacy. In fact, your reclusive actions could be a self-preservation reaction… and you could instead be killing any chances of a relationship really developing past its initial stages. Speaking about the advice she gives to couples who experience a lack of love or passion in their relationship, Paul adds: “Fortunately, when you learn to love yourself rather than continue to reject and abandon yourself, all aspects of your relationship will greatly improve. “Instead of leaving when the love and passion go out of your relationship, why not learn to love yourself and see what happens?” So feeling like the romance has taken a nosedive? Why not make the effort and suggest a date night? Or even take the chance to talk to your other half… Relationships need two people to make the effort, and it’s worth knowing you took every step necessary to help keep that passion alive. H/T Mind Body Green