Starting out in any new relationship is full of fun, excitement, and great expectations, but if we’re honest, it’s pretty intimidating too.
While we might know that every relationship is different and that with each heartache we move on and grow, it’s hard to let go of the pain (or fear) that it’ll happen all over again.
According to relationship expert April Masini, the most common mistake most people make before getting into a relationship is holding themselves back for fear of getting hurt.
In conversation with Mind Body Green, Masini explained that when we start holding ourselves back, we rely more on pre-conceived dating rules than our gut instincts.
She also argues that someone who has been hurt may hold back on being authentic:
“If you’re bracing yourself in your relationship, you’re fighting against your authentic self. You might hide your strong opinions, pretend to like something you don’t, or neglect to honour your boundaries.”
As well as lying to yourself, Masini argues that if you’re uncomfortable in the early stages of your relationship you’re more likely to start silently picking apart your partner.
While you might really be sitting on cloud nine, if you’re feeling self-conscious you could start fixating on tiny flaws to convince yourself to call if off.
So how can you combat your fears of heartache?
Start talking.
If you’re feeling nervous, or need to slow down the pace of your coupling, have an honest breakdown of expectations or concerns and work out if the relationship is worth the risk.
Chances are, if you’re reading this, you want it to work out which is always a good start.
