Twelve things confused people say when the clocks change

We'll need a few weeks to adjust.

While the rest of the world gets caught up in the horror of losing an hour's sleep tonight, spare a thought for those who will remain at all loss to what time it actually is for the next few days. It can be a tricky concept to get your head around, and I'd be lying if I said that some of the following aren't direct quotes from Her staffers. It's an exceedingly difficult time for many - here are twelve things confused people say when the clocks change.

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"Jaysus, it gets earlier every year." They never see it coming, god love them. Don't even try to make the "it actually DOES get earlier" joke in spring - you'll completely lose them. "How do you change the clock on your iPhone again?"  No you don't. You don't change it, so stop saying again because you've NEVER changed it. It automatically does it. You know this. "Spring forward, fall back. No fall forward, spring back. No..." Stop. "Will X Factor still record?"  It will yeah. Please uncrease your eyebrows. "So wait, will it be darker or lighter going to work in the morning?"  Just see in the morning, I'd say. "So when it's 2am it's actually 1am, so it's 1am TWICE and then there's no 2am?!" This can go on for a very long time if you don't stop it. "Do I need to ring them and tell them to come an hour early?"  For the love of god, no. Unless it's a sibling of yours. Then maybe. "What about the oven clock?"  We're actually not sure about this one. "But I'm travelling to France, which is an hour ahead, so I'll be TWO hours behind. Or is it two hours ahead..." Crossing time zones? Is that really something someone in your condition should be doing right now? "I'm working on Saturday night, so do I have to do an extra hour's work?"  Kind of, actually. "Will my baby still wake up at 4am? Or 3am? Or is 4am, 5am?"  Maybe you should stop talking to me and get a pen and paper. "What even IS time?"  (This is a good time to leave them alone to think.)