Twelve Things That Will Happen If You Live In Soap Land

Have you ever sit in front of your favourite soap and wondered what it would be like to live down the East End or on the cobbles of Corrie? Well, we can tell you something, it certainly won’t be a bed of roses...

1. You will die young

Start writing that will, because whatever way you look at it, you are definitely not going to make it past 40. On the other hand, you may become so crucial to the very fabric of the street or square... i.e. you’re Dot Cotton.

2. You will have a horrible death

We would suggest treating every day like you are living a real life version of Final Destination. Danger is lurking everywhere. Don’t go to the shop, a train might come in the window. EVERYTHING is flammable. Oh, and try to avoid murderers.

3. You will end up having an affair

Even if you are the most loyal husband or wife, the temptation will be too much. You will end up with the most unlikely person, someone that you have seen every day for the past ten years but suddenly, they’re amazingly attractive to you.

 

4. You will be involved in a child scandal of some sort

If you know a child that has a laptop, chances are that laptop will be the reason you will be implicated in a paedophile ring at some stage. Just don’t talk to children, and if you have children, keep them at a distance.

5. You will have a baby really young

If you are under 18 and female, chances are you will be pregnant or have a pregnancy scare by 14.

6. You will marry really young

Not only will you be married by 20, but you will probably be married several times by the time you are 30 and then eventually end up with the person you were first involved with.

7. You will never leave your designated area

Nothing exists outside of your street or square. In fact, for the entire time you will live in that area you will never leave.

8. You will drink a lot. In fact, you will drink all the time.

See you down the pub for lunch? And then again for dinner? And where will we hold that party? Fancy a chat? Need some advice? No. You’re just all raving alcoholics.

9. Your long lost wife/husband/daughter/son/mother/father will turn up

Remember that time you did actually leave the street for twenty-five seconds and got married? Well, your forgotten spouse is back. Oh, and your parents aren’t your real parents. And your mother had an affair and you have a step-sister... Did we miss anything?

10. If your wedding goes off without a hitch, one of you is terminally ill.

Don’t worry about the wedding, marry whenever you want. Your other half won’t be around for too long. Spoiler.

11. If you fall in love with a stranger, chances are you are related to them

That new guy you’ve been seeing? Well, your Mom also had another child with another guy and well, we hate to tell you but....

12. You will know everyone

Regardless of the fact that you have just arrived, you will already know everyone that lives in your area. Not only that, you will know all their business and maybe even a few secrets about them they don't even know themselves.