Life | 5 months ago

Filomeno Kaguako has written an open letter to Irish men asking them to stop sexualising black women.

Taking to her blog, Enhance What's Yours, she began the letter by saying to Irish men, "There’s more to us than our colour. There’s more to us than our looks. There’s more to us than the body that you have unjustly exotified because you refuse to look at what we can offer you intellectually."

Filomena told us that she wrote the letter as a response to all the Irish men that she has encountered on Tinder and Plenty of Fish who found her "exotic" because of her race.

She said, "I was directing it [the letter] towards the men I have encountered on Tinder or POF who almost immediately make reference to my race and how it is exotic to them. It got to stage where I felt I was being fetishized because of the colour of my skin and I felt compelled to speak up about it."

She also said that she has been approached by other women who have received the same treatment on social media because of the colour of their skin.

She added, "I wanted to highlight the issue in hopes that these men would change their approach when speaking to women who appear exotic to them. Being sexualised because of your pigment is devaluing especially when you know you have more so much more to offer. I wasn't looking to create a division between white men and black women. That was not my intention with the letter. I was simply trying to highlight an issue that is prevalent within minorities here."

Here is her open letter in full:

"Dear Irishmen,

There’s more to us than our colour.

There’s more to us than our looks.

There’s more to us than the body that you have unjustly exotified because you refuse to look at what we can offer you intellectually.

We have depth. We have character. We have value.

So please stop sexualising us.

When you sexualise us you don’t make us feel beautiful. You don’t make us feel special. You don’t make us feel unique. You make us feel like an object that you will eventually get bored of and toss out after having derived maximum pleasure from us.

Stop sexualising us.

Because when you sexualise us you are merely reminding us that you don’t actually see us. You do not see us for what or who we are. You see nothing more than a physical aspect of us. You see a carnel desire and someone with whom you want to explore your insatiable black girl fetish.

Stop sexualising us.

Because when you sexualise us we can’t help but wonder how much longer you’ll stick around after you get tired of the pigment of our skin.

Stop sexualising us.

Because when you sexualise us you are damaging our spirit. Tearing up our soul. You are instilling an insecurity in us about something that we should be proud of.

Stop sexualising us.

Because when you sexualise us you’re telling us that we will never amount to anything more than a checklist, a conquest, a tool.

It is degrading. It is diminishing. It is devaluing.

So why do you continue to sexualise us?

am not a commodity.

I am not a car for you to test drive one day because you’ve come to the realisation that you’ve yet to try a black one.

I wasn’t brought to this world to explore your sexual curiosity and I do not exist to fulfil your sexual needs.

Dear Irishman, the next time you set your green eyes on me, remember this:

There’s more to me than my colour.

There’s more to me than my looks.

There’s more to me than the body that you have unjustly exotified because you refuse to look at what I can offer you intellectually.

I have depth. I have character. I have value, so please stop sexualising me."

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