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09th Jan 2017

Women share their first date deal breakers and the response is hilarious

Cassie Delaney

Solidarity at its finest.

Women have taken to Reddit to revel in the beautiful experience of sharing first date disaster stories.

We’ve all experienced bad dates, awkward moments and misread signals.

It’s not pleasant. The only solace is being able to share the experience with your gals pals and have a laugh at just how shitty the dating scene can be.

Hundreds of women have taken to this Reddit thread to do just that.

RealHrvat started the thread by simply asking:

Ladies, what’s an absolute no-no for a guy to do on a first date?

The response is a collection of HI-LARIOUS bad first date experiences.

thewildbunny

Ask to wear matching outfits. I wish I was kidding.

uncappedlynx

He initiates a dinner date. Dinner date ends up being with his extended family. Since he drove us, I get stuck back at his mom’s home with extended family while he disappeared somewhere. I’m not even socially comfortable around my own extended family.

AwkwardGeisha

I once went on a first date where I got into the guys car and he started drifting through the busy streets in an urban area and refused to stop to let me out of the car. He didn’t wear shoes and brought me to Carl’s Jr. for dinner (which I paid for). As we were driving by an “adult entertainment” store on our way back to my car he asked if I wanted to stop in and go shopping.

Pajamaralways

Ask whether the girl had waxed or shaved her private parts. Then, upon hearing no, tell her you have a razor in your backpack.

soofyahn

Don’t take your date to olive garden, slurp your soup up really really fast, use your finger to get the remaining traces out of the bowl and lick your fingers, and then request two more soup refills in a row so I have to endure this torture again and again

featherygoose

The guy asked her to show up wearing red, anything red. She wore a red skirt with red nails. He drove her to a well known make out spot and tried to convince her to dance beside the car while he played “Lady In Red” from the tape deck. As I understand, she wasn’t impressed.

ProbablyEatingTacos

One time, a guy asked me out and showed up in those toe shoes. Didn’t realize it was at the top of my “no no” list until it happened.

But the award for the worst date of all time has to go to this tale of woe from heyychiaki

I was at work one day, and this guy comes in and starts talking to me. Turns out he was my next door neighbor from 15 years ago. He asks me to hang out, and I say sure thinking why not catch up since it’s the first time I’ve seen him since then. Literally didn’t even realize it was a date.

It was a really nice day out, so he invited me on a ride on his motorcycle. He picks me up at my house, and as soon as I put a helmet on, he’s like, “OK, first I’m taking you to see my grandma.” Drives us over there and introduces me to her by saying “So this is that girl I told you I really like… I’d really like to take her to dinner, so can I have that money now?” I’m just standing off to the side super awkward because who tf introduces someone to their grandma on a first date, let alone blatantly asks for money from her? She gives him $20 and he tells me we can go to Dairy Queen.

We drive around for a bit and eventually end up at one. He tells me the only thing I’m allowed to get is a five buck lunch. OK, whatever. He makes a little bit of a scene because he wanted his drink with no ice and hadn’t told her that before she already poured his drink. We sat down and started talking, and immediately he’s talking about all these vacations we can go on, how he wanted to take me to the mountains in the winter and how we should really start planning for my birthday 9 months away, because we should totally go across the country to this one resort he knew. In my mind I’m just like ok buddy slow down a bit and also how tf are you going to pay for all of that.

We finish eating and he decides he wants to take me to his cousins’ house. We spent a solid hour there just with him socializing with them. I’m not even included in the conversation at all. He then takes me to his great-aunt’s house, which was pretty depressing considering she has Alzheimers and both of my grandfathers’ died from that, so it’s a bit of a sore spot for me. Spent another hour or so there. Went back to his cousin’s house to socialize some more there. Proceeded to slap my ass in front of them.

We’re finally done socializing, so he drives up to this remote spot so we could finally talk. He goes to kiss me at one point, I turn my head because seriously no thank you, he bites my neck and tells me I’m lucky he’s not a vampire. I’m constantly hinting that I want to go home, but he’s not getting it, and I don’t want to be rude because he’s my ride and we’re literally at least an hour away from where I live and I don’t want to get ditched or anything like that.

Finally he takes me home and I pretty much go inside without him as quickly as possible. The next two days in a row he shows up at my house uninvited and spends a solid hour there each time just talking to my mom. Luckily I wasn’t there either time. He shows up at my work, I tell him flat out he creeped me out and I wasn’t interested. He comes back the next day to ask me out again, tell him no again. Stops in the next week, addresses me as babe, tells my coworkers I’m his girlfriend, and jfc I thought I was going to have to get a restraining order against him.

Dude was 32 btw.