2016 was the year everything went to shit, except Twitter.
You can always rely on Twitter to cheer you up with dank memes, fake stuff and sick wordplay when times get tough. 2016 was so unbearably awful, but at least we were able to seek comfort with gay abandon on Twitter.
Here’s 100 of the funniest tweets you might’ve missed this year (in chronological order because organised fun is the best kind of fun).
1.
strippers who dress up as police and don’t say “FREEZE! L.A.P.D…a.n.c.e” don’t deserve their jobs
— kelly (@donlothario) January 1, 2016
2.
most specific fancy dress shop ever pic.twitter.com/B1OEZ8H6zo
— David O’Doherty (@phlaimeaux) January 7, 2016
3.
Please be the guy on the right x pic.twitter.com/jnRkvqIyZ5
— Sarah (@chicknugget13) January 11, 2016
4.
Wait a minute, Kanye WAS saying she’s a Gold Digger!
— kirsten (@kirstenin) January 19, 2016
5.
New favourite game = finding Americans on Facebook that have no idea they are Corrie characters pic.twitter.com/Z1DWkXudoq
— Martyn ? (@martynhett) January 25, 2016
6.
The Revenant pic.twitter.com/2RRCpAA2yj
— Daniel (@dilsexia) January 26, 2016
7.
This must look like the plot to a fantasy adventure movie to non-Irish people pic.twitter.com/BmlQo8ei7U
— Dee (@deevseverything) February 2, 2016
8.
Being alone on pancake day is far worse than being alone on Valentine’s day because nothing is sadder than flipping a pancake in silence.
— Adam Hess (@adamhess1) February 9, 2016
9.
“We can’t put it off any longer Alan, our daughter needs new shoes”
CENTIPEDE DAD: [staring out the window] This is gonna bankrupt us Susan
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) February 15, 2016
10.
Needless to say, I don’t think it’s good news. pic.twitter.com/LuGppvSycJ
— Andy Lang (@HRH_Duke_of_Url) February 22, 2016
11.
#WorldBookDay
Forgot they had to be in costume, so they’re going to school as pages 89 & 165 of the Argos catalogue pic.twitter.com/5JHnHlRbte— joe heenan (@joeheenan) March 3, 2016
12.
Manic Street Preachers tried to warn us, but we didn’t listen… pic.twitter.com/rmQmSLP4Fz
— Ian Cummins (@TheGreatHumbug) March 3, 2016
13.
why does this read like Stephen Gately somehow mysteriously killed a child with his jacket pic.twitter.com/VEegLWFy3O
— kylie janam (@hummusandpizza) March 5, 2016
14.
Canny see that lasting three month pal pic.twitter.com/enkF00y10K
— brandon (@shsawda3529) March 5, 2016
15.
who painted this you made me fuck up my car pic.twitter.com/E1qG0c0eDi
— Taste Luxury (@TasteLuxury) March 9, 2016
16.
17.
I imagine very few people successfully steal windchimes
— Craig Deeley (@craiguito) March 16, 2016
18.
When you haven’t drank in a few days and you’re seriously proud pic.twitter.com/hjFniYAHIZ
— Jack (@Jack_O_C) March 20, 2016
19.
She truly is the world’s greatest athlete pic.twitter.com/bYpqw8OmD0
— Anna Marquardt ?? (@ajlobster) March 22, 2016
20.
his palms are sweaty
knees weak
arms are heavy
there’s pic.twitter.com/wTjpK19Kub— dan mentos (@DanMentos) March 24, 2016
21.
using microsoft word
*moves an image 1 mm to the left*
all text and images shift. 4 new pages appear. in the distance, sirens.
— Lourdes (@gossipgriII) March 25, 2016
22.
I love 2 Chainz cause I never have to wonder how many chains he has
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) March 27, 2016
23.
I want a kiss cam at my funeral
— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) April 2, 2016
24.
I assume this was the last of the Famous Five books. pic.twitter.com/WaRpAPKXXL
— Will Stevens (@teletextpage152) April 3, 2016
25.
Imagine carrying a child in your womb for 9 months only for it to grow up and take the lower offer on The Chase
— Simmey (@simmey__) April 4, 2016
26.
I’d like to meet the person who ticks the last one. pic.twitter.com/0FUTuJffxW
— Dorothy Cotter (@eleventyfour) April 27, 2016
27.
this is my university everyone ???????? pic.twitter.com/5wxdBRfDTB
— Lynsey (@lharradence) April 26, 2016
28.
Happiness, ranked:
3. Graduation
2. Birth of first child
1. Woman you admire tells you, unsolicited, that you nailed your winged eyeliner— Chloe Angyal (@ChloeAngyal) April 17, 2016
29.
Tom Hardy always looks like he’s charging his phone across the room and he just saw someone almost touch it pic.twitter.com/2lIIGEh1dZ
— Matt O’Brien (@matt_obrien) April 21, 2016
30.
Summer got attacked by a duck today & the pictures our neighbor got of it happening make me laugh so hard pic.twitter.com/GEJuGwPy24
— stevie b (@steviegidden) May 2, 2016
31.
sometimes my dad talks to me like i’ve never been retweeted by good charlotte
— darcie wilder (@333333333433333) May 9, 2016
32.
when u realise your children are not the real priority in your life, but that u owe it all to the sweet green prince pic.twitter.com/0z8zCCqDzz
— Emily (@hazpoz) May 10, 2016
33.
I don’t know cpr I just like punching dead people in the chest and kissing them.
— Little Greenis (@DurtMcHurtt) May 12, 2016
34.
me: do you ever get sad because some dogs probably need glasses but we’ll never know because THEY CANT SAY
bank teller: sir this is a bank
— Matt Bellassai (@MattBellassai) May 16, 2016
35.
Interviewer 1: Describe yourself in one word
Me: Hired
Interviewer 2:[whispers] Holy shit can she do that??
— Niles (@River_Niles) May 16, 2016
36.
we had to observe a minute silence for the guy who fell in the lake & drowned. went for 74 seconds. not complaining just dont call it that
— Micheal Caine (@mikealfredcaine) May 17, 2016
37.
If embryos are people, ultrasounds are child pornography
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) May 17, 2016
38.
nigga this tweet opened my third eye pic.twitter.com/BtFU0ExGg0
— mike (@silenthooper) May 19, 2016
39.
Interviewer: says here you have a military background
Me [getting out my phone]: yeah but I changed to a picture of my dog eating spaghetti— David Hughes (@david8hughes) May 20, 2016
40.
Might need a hyphen in that mate. pic.twitter.com/CXtbtsVRdJ
— ?HIPPY CHRISTMAS? (@hippy_jon) May 21, 2016
41.
The way I stroke back the leaves on a strawberry before eating it is fucking perverted.
— Anders Holm (@ders808) May 29, 2016
42.
It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.
— bananafanafofisa (@lisaxy424) June 9, 2016
43.
Very lifelike, but I wonder how well he’ll sell pic.twitter.com/4Ip9xzkVr2
— Louise O’Connor (@oconnola) June 14, 2016
44.
Waiter: *grating cheese* say when
Me:
Me:
Me:Waiter: Sir that was the entire block of cheese
Me: *leans in way too close* Go get another
— Snow (B)ice (@Pro_Jones_) June 15, 2016
45.
are you even a girl if you don’t tell people you’re wearing jeans and a nice top ????
— ebony (@ebs_rose) June 19, 2016
46.
You (hasn’t seen Ratatouille): gross get this rat outta here
Me (smart, has seen Ratatouille): now wait just a minute
— rachel (@rougasrougas) June 19, 2016
47.
Your apologies mean little to us Shrek fans, we are strong and resilient pic.twitter.com/OIjAAx4IcZ
— refriend beans (@pharmasean) June 20, 2016
48.
i paid for in-flight wifi so i could tweet this immediately pic.twitter.com/nnwpcyYC8V
— David Farrier (@davidfarrier) June 23, 2016
49.
Harry Potter and the pic.twitter.com/8rdW5YL6tf
— Amelia Florence (@ameliafsimmons) June 25, 2016
50.
— jordan, but jolly (@jordoritos) June 25, 2016
51.
[normal life]
ive worn the same shirt everyday for a week
[packing for vacation]
hmmm. i’ll prob change a few times a day so thats…32 shirts— jomny sun, authoer (@jonnysun) July 5, 2016
52.
And the award for best “Friends” extra goes to woman who sips coffee then chews it. pic.twitter.com/LQtycvoS9w
— Nick Turner (@NicksTurners) July 6, 2016
53.
Nothing quite says “Chinese, xfactor, missionary for 10 minutes then bed” quite like a couple going to a Kodaline gig together
— Christmas Ad (@RummHammm) July 9, 2016
54.
be the change you want to see in the world pic.twitter.com/x5CjWXJgHz
— jolly azúcar (@christenrhule) July 11, 2016
55.
Me making new life plans every time I have a hangover pic.twitter.com/qEuAX6noqL
— Ana Kinsella (@anakinsella) July 16, 2016
56.
God *giggling*: They are gonna be so tiny.
Angel *writing*: ants… tiny… got it.
God *suddenly tearing up*: but omg so strong.
— SpaceGirl Eggnogito (@iamspacegirl) July 17, 2016
57.
wow huge congrats to toilet pic.twitter.com/nHIpiHBd3i
— becca t (@beccaandthebox) July 22, 2016
58.
This cigarette packet started singing Fairytale of New York at me? pic.twitter.com/Uza82pT7tY
— John Brennan (@UpturnedBathtub) July 25, 2016
59.
my dad has just taken dad jokes to a whole new level pic.twitter.com/S7pklb4EhX
— festive jess (@enterjeshikari) July 26, 2016
60.
Atlantis Dolphin Bay Instructor: “Gently kiss the dolphin”
My nephew: pic.twitter.com/KIbnWicb8e
— Hxssxin (@gothamsbatman) July 28, 2016
61.
Still everything to play for, in the Men’s Hoovering #Rio2016 pic.twitter.com/L1JwxBk4u8
— Nick James (@jamesy1962) August 7, 2016
62.
*gymnast does a triple-double ultra-spin backflip-frontflip but takes a tiny step when she lands*
ME: [mouthful of Pringles] what a loser— Sage Boggs (@sageboggs) August 8, 2016
63.
Adele got a billboard just to gloat pic.twitter.com/8lVUhy2rm1
— shut up, mike (@shutupmikeginn) August 10, 2016
64.
When your ex comes to your Olympic meet. #Rio2016 pic.twitter.com/T3igVFsp4Y
— Ramon ? (@TheLegendRamon) August 14, 2016
65.
A Guide to Irish Verbs
Tá Mé – I am
Tá Sé – He is
Tá Sí – She is
Tá Tu – ALL THE THINGS SHE SAID ALL THE THINGS SHE SAID RUNNIN THRU MY HEAD— Jolly Old Saint Al (@alan_maguire) August 18, 2016
66.
wife: Why is your back all scratched up?
[flashback to me chasing a raccoon after she told me to leave it alone]
me: I’m having an affair— Josh (@iwearaonesie) August 18, 2016
67.
pyjamas? havent worn them in years pic.twitter.com/fRvuOTkaXM
— maeve (@pocahonttits) August 19, 2016
68.
Cannot unsee. pic.twitter.com/10qYqknaiQ
— Daniel (@DannyDutch) September 6, 2016
69.
Jobs: You Need To Have Your BA
*got BA
Jobs: you need 5yrs experience
*5years later
Jobs: You need a MA
*Got MA
Jobs: we need some1 young— Ciara Smith ?? (@ciarasmith91) September 6, 2016
70.
Their bravery will not be forgotten pic.twitter.com/mRUNeim9WI
— Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) September 10, 2016
71.
Never forget the Marriott mini-muffins of remembrance. #NeverForget pic.twitter.com/M5RBhK5CaM
— McYulemins (@Danny_McMoomins) September 11, 2016
72.
The boom is back pic.twitter.com/XNPN3iILSo
— Mike Mc Loughlin (@zuroph) September 11, 2016
73.
Great to see Google takes cow privacy seriously pic.twitter.com/ACTBpDwno6
— David Shariatmadari (@D_Shariatmadari) September 13, 2016
74.
oh no why did I bring my bird to see sully
— Eli Terry (@EliTerry) September 13, 2016
75.
— Charlie (@chvrliewebber) September 27, 2016
76.
Nobody at the Women’s Weekly has noticed that their automatic tweet program “Adobe® Social” has stopped including links to their stories pic.twitter.com/Bf6cLg2f3o
— Ti Butler (@tibutler) September 28, 2016
77.
Guy cutting my hair complaining about the last person who cut my hair doesn’t realize he was the last person to cut it.
— shut up, mike (@shutupmikeginn) October 1, 2016
78.
My cousin went swimming with dolphins the other day and let’s just say it could have gone better. ?? pic.twitter.com/i10P8xCBWs
— Dan Higginson (@Higgles17) October 1, 2016
79.
for someone who didn’t start a fire, Billy Joel sure is defensive about it
— paperwash© (@PaperWash) October 2, 2016
80.
I am in no position to judge Trump on this. I, too, made poor investment decisions in 1995. pic.twitter.com/9BZcq3f4JG
— Jennifer (@WeTheLiving) October 3, 2016
81.
chipotle employee: white or brown rice
frank underwood: (to camera) the rice is irrelevant. but for now i’ll play his game.
— chuuch (@ch000ch) October 6, 2016
82.
Did you know Sia’s last name is Wouldntwannabia?
— Dave Shumka (@daveshumka) October 9, 2016
83.
Right it’s getting closer tae Halloween and a have no idea how 2 beat last years Chucky.. Ar La pic.twitter.com/GxOde9Un3M
— KBMQU (@KaitlinMqu) October 12, 2016
84.
AMAZING! This guy took a photo of himself every day for two days: pic.twitter.com/GRPcyzWHLo
— Glenn Moore (@TheNewsAtGlenn) October 24, 2016
85.
Young Fine Gail pic.twitter.com/uVjeRVRi5T
— john (@Scarlet4UrMa) October 25, 2016
86.
we wrote our own wedding vows pic.twitter.com/Vi5nnpte1f
— мхяк (@mxrk) November 4, 2016
87.
fuckinghell they’re letting every Tom Dick Ann harry on the chase these days pic.twitter.com/y0wnro0PUs
— Kane (@Iceagecandykane) November 4, 2016
88.
when u sit down and look at your stomach pic.twitter.com/hsWDIbLjbR
— al (@pxramore) November 5, 2016
89.
If you’re having a bad day just remember @TheNotoriousMMA cropped me out of our photo pic.twitter.com/KIvyUGGM9Y
— Erin Safran (@Erin_Safran) November 12, 2016
90.
OOH BABY DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT’S WORTH pic.twitter.com/KtGBBOw6kI
— Seasonal Greetin’ (@Jim_Trinca) November 13, 2016
91.
My dad looks like he just got a letter pic.twitter.com/m5IDHRzrem
— spencer (@Simbas_Mane) November 24, 2016
92.
*listens to Mr. Brightside once* pic.twitter.com/4gNSitoIoJ
— Josh Woosley (@Joshwoos) November 30, 2016
93.
No, he hasn’t – I’ve just looked at a map and it’s still there pic.twitter.com/ibFTF1afxW
— Scott (@Flying_Inside) December 3, 2016
94.
I lerved Herve Leger as the Jerker in Bertmern. RIP. Gern too sern. pic.twitter.com/5LF7OdK11k
— Ollie Garch (@ojedge) December 4, 2016
95.
get this for ur nanny for christmas it’s in forever 21 rn pic.twitter.com/UrTXM6oB5Z
— kelly (@donlothario) December 5, 2016
96.
pull the plug on 2016 pic.twitter.com/WGKAJHozA6
— crispin best (@crispinbest) December 6, 2016
97.
“Tender and mild” is a great way to describe chicken and a TERRIBLE way to describe a holy infant.
— Jenny Jaffe (@jennyjaffe) December 7, 2016
98.
whoops dropped my cereal pic.twitter.com/pQQqzDV9lx
— hot gamer sex (@HotGamerSex) December 10, 2016
99.
This advent calendar is shit. There’s no chocolate and it just makes me cry all the time. pic.twitter.com/iZDYRl20Qt
— Katie Storey (@KEStorey) December 15, 2016
100.
Hollister models always look like they’re about to fuck up a pitch on The Apprentice. pic.twitter.com/XhcexH9QPO
— Rhys James (@rhysjamesy) December 15, 2016