Exactly four years ago today, a monkey wearing a coat wandered into an IKEA in Toronto and stole my cold and fragile heart.
It transpired that his name was Darwin and frankly that adds to his heightened level of adorability.
I spoke exclusively to Darwin on the eve of his four-year anniversary of being photographed in IKEA.
Initially, I was shocked to see that Darwin had ditched the shearling coat and opted for a parka. But then not too shocked, because parkas are very in at the moment. Always on trend, our Darwin.
Me: Hi Darwin, how’s things?
Darwin: Good now yeah. You?
Me: Grand thanks. Listen, what’s life been like since the big event?
Darwin: Ciara. Things have blown up. I walked into IKEA three years ago for a Kyjörglforp and left with a career. People have been contacting me non-stop with job offers. Just last week I had a man from Indonesia asking me would I appear on his tv show about fashionable monkeys!
Me: Madness, stop. Did you take up any of these offers?
Darwin: Look, I’m a family man. I’ve a wife and sixty-three kids at home to provide for. Obviously, I had to follow the money. I’ve done modelling, fashion designing, pilates instructing, public appearances, cut the ribbon at monkey bar openings, even hosted a birthday party for Jermajesty Jackson.
Darwin and Jermajesty pictured at his birthday party late last year.Me: Wow, monkey bars?
Darwin: Yeah, as in the climbing frames. They haven’t permitted alcohol to us animals yet. Just you animals. *Laughs awkwardly*
Me: LOL.
Darwin: LOL.
Me: What’s next for you Darwin? Another trip to IKEA?
Darwin: No we’ve just refurnished the house so we mightn’t need to head out there for a month or two.
[At this point Darwin took me for a tour around the house and I must say, it was very tastefully decorated. All your mod cons, along with a hefty record collection from The Monkees, obviously].
Me: Tomorrow is the big day, the three year anniversary. How will you celebrate?
Darwin: Honestly, I’ll probably look back at all the great photographs that were taken. Maybe pop on the old jacket, look regretfully out a window and reminisce at the good times. Also, the wife said she’d make banoffee pie so I’m fairly thrilled about that.
Me: Darwin, mate. It’s been an absolute pleasure. Thanks for taking the time to talk to me.
Darwin: Listen, take it handy Ciara. All the best.
