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Published 13:00 9 Dec 2016 GMT
Updated 13:01 9 Dec 2016 GMT

Darwin and Jermajesty pictured at his birthday party late last year.[/caption]
Me: Wow, monkey bars?
Darwin: Yeah, as in the climbing frames. They haven't permitted alcohol to us animals yet. Just you animals. *Laughs awkwardly*
Me: LOL.
Darwin: LOL.
Me: What's next for you Darwin? Another trip to IKEA?
Darwin: No we've just refurnished the house so we mightn't need to head out there for a month or two.
[At this point Darwin took me for a tour around the house and I must say, it was very tastefully decorated. All your mod cons, along with a hefty record collection from The Monkees, obviously].
Me: Tomorrow is the big day, the three year anniversary. How will you celebrate?
Darwin: Honestly, I'll probably look back at all the great photographs that were taken. Maybe pop on the old jacket, look regretfully out a window and reminisce at the good times. Also, the wife said she'd make banoffee pie so I'm fairly thrilled about that.
Me: Darwin, mate. It's been an absolute pleasure. Thanks for taking the time to talk to me.
Darwin: Listen, take it handy Ciara. All the best.

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