‘Abuse is not love’ – Public urged to know the signs of an abusive relationship

Too Into You is about changing the way young people understand love

Too Into You is aimed at helping young people recognise the difference between healthy relationships and intimate partner abuse, and to understand that abuse is not love. 

The project by Women’s Aid, a national organisation working to prevent and address the impact of domestic violence and abuse, is rooted in growing evidence that young people are questioning behaviours in their relationships that are often normalised as  “romantic”.

In 2025 alone, 22,250 people took the Too Into You Relationship Quiz on toointoyou.ie to check whether their relationship was healthy, underlining the demand for clear, youth-focused information and support. 

Too Into You is part of Women’s Aid’s wider prevention work, designed specifically for young people aged 18–25, with a particular focus on young women, who are disproportionately impacted by intimate relationship abuse. 

Despite the scale of this concern, Women’s Aid warns that abuse in young relationships is still frequently dismissed as drama or jealousy, misconceptions that often mask the seriousness of what many young women are experiencing.  

Controlling behaviours are often misinterpreted as signs of passion or care, allowing coercive control to take root long before it is recognised as abuse. 

“Too Into You is more than a campaign, it’s about changing the way young people understand love,” says Mary Hayes, Project Coordinator of Too Into You at Women’s Aid. 

“Abuse in young relationships is often minimised or framed as jealousy, passion or care. But behaviours that create fear, shame or control are not romantic, they are red flags of abuse. This campaign is about helping young people trust their instincts and empowering them to understand that abuse is not love. We want all young people in  Ireland to know that if you’re worried about your own or even a friend’s relationship, you can find free and confidential support at toointoyou.ie, Women’s Aid’s dedicated website for young people,” says Ms Hayes. 

"Love should feel safe"

Research shows that one in five young women in Ireland experiences abuse from a current or former male partner before the age of 25, making early awareness and prevention critical.

“This is a deeply gendered issue,” Ms Hayes continued. “Young women are navigating dating and relationships in a culture that often normalises controlling behaviours. The abuse they face can have devastating impacts on their health and wellbeing, their freedoms and choices. Too Into You exists to say clearly: love should feel safe, respectful and empowering, not frightening or restrictive.” 

The Too Into You campaign will run for three weeks, from 12^th February to International Women’s Day on 8th March, across social media, digital platforms and public engagement.

It aims to increase awareness of relationship red flags, challenge harmful myths about romance, and encourage young people to access support through toointoyou.ie.

"Our earliest relationships shape how we see ourselves and others,” Ms Hayes concluded. “Every young person deserves a healthy, respectful start. It's crucial that we equip young people with the tools to recognise warning signs of abuse early on and seek help when needed. With Too Into You, we want to help young people build  relationships based on equality and care, not fear or control.” 

Women’s Aid encourages everyone to share the campaign widely and to start conversations with the young people in their lives about what healthy love really looks like. 

For more information, visit toointoyou.ie.