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Published 20:00 5 Sept 2015 BST
Updated 08:25 2 Sept 2015 BST
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2. We would have been in floods before we even sat down.
3. We're too proud for this. Plenty more fish and all that!
4. Who would want to be Jell-O?
5. Crème brûlée is WAY better.
6. We respect library rules. Also, we would never be this harsh to our friends.
7. Dancing in broad daylight - we don't think so!
8. But when we do dance, we show off ALL our moves.
9. She would have gotten a lot more than a shove.
10. We would have sat back down.
11. No sex? What about chocolate? We're definitely going to need both of those.
12. She's too sober to make the wedding speech.

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