The 7 best one-liners from the first three episodes of Derry Girls 5 years ago

The 7 best one-liners from the first three episodes of Derry Girls

Have you not been watching? Catch yourself on.

Lisa McGee's new smash-hit show Derry Girls has taken audiences by storm. It has gotten rave reviews, and is already being compared to all-time great shows such as Father Ted and The Inbetweeners. Even though we are only three episodes in, the show already has a very impressive list of "best bits".


Here are a few of the funniest one-liners from the show so far.

1) "You can't ring Childline every time your mother threatens to kill you." - Michelle Mallon

The girls, in episode three, were stressed to the nines over an exam that they had not prepared for at all. This led to a brilliant conversation between Erin and her mother, in which the mother threatens to kill wee Erin. This caused Erin to ask the girls for 10p so she could ring Childline, which resulted in this brilliant line from Michelle.

2) "Look, I wanted to be an individual but my ma wouldn't let me." - Erin Quinn


This comes in one of the opening scenes of the first episode, and it sets the tone for just how great the show is about to be. The girls had agreed to wear denim jackets instead of their school blazers, to celebrate their individuality, but it's only young Clare Devlin who actually pulls through with it. The scene also sees Clare deliver the classic line "Well I'm not being an individual on me own!" Brilliant.

3) "I don't smoke either, I just like meltin' stuff." Orla McCool


This is our introduction to the zany character of Orla McCool. Imagine you're in the smoking area of the pub, and you overhear someone saying this. You'd be terrified. What a lovable nut-job.

4) "She never got the abortion." - Michelle Mallon

A scene of pure brilliance. No words are needed, just watch it.


5) "I know how daunting resit examinations can be, so if anyone is feeling anxious or worried or even if you just want to chat, please, please, do not come crying to me." - Sister Michael

Just what every student wants to hear before a big exam. Guidance at its finest from Sister Michael.

6) "We got the gist. They ran out of spuds, everyone was raging." - Michelle Mallon

No prizes for guessing what she's talking about here. To be honest, everything that Michelle says throughout the entire show could be put on this list, but her take on the famine is absolutely hilarious.

7) "I'll compromise you through that window." - Granda Joe


A brilliant addition to the show, Granda Joe's relationship with Tommy Tiernan's Gerry Quinn is one of the high points of the Quinn household. During a heated debate as to how many bags of chips they should get from the chipper, Gerry offers to compromise. Granda Joe is willing to compromise, but in a different way.