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03rd Apr 2018

People noticed something really stupid about Phelan’s return from the dead

Jade Hayden

This is getting out of hand now.

On Good Friday, Pat Phelan died.

Then a few days later, Pat Phelan rose from the dead because he is Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour and there’s nothing we can do about it really.

If you didn’t catch last nights episode don’t worry – you didn’t miss much apart from Phelan basically showing up in a random B&B bed with a little old Irish lady beside him being all attentive and all.

This, of course, led fans to believe that Phelan was in Ireland, presumably hiding out until all of his murders blow over because the Gardaí would never think to look in a B&B for a serial killer, not at all like.

This was all grand… except it wasn’t really for one glaringly obvious reason.

If Phelan’s in Ireland, that means he swam there.

Literally swam there.

Got pushed into the sea, presumably broke a few ribs and then genuinely swam across the ocean to Ireland.

Nah, like. We don’t buy it.

In fairness though, if we were producers on Coronation Street and we knew that we could literally write whatever we wanted into a script and people would still watch the show, we’d probably go a bit ridiculous with it too.

Why not, like?

It already doesn’t make any sense that Phelan didn’t get caught for approximately four years – what’s a quick swim to another country among friends?

Anyway, there was another reason why this whole debacle was more than ridiculous and that’s that Phelan would have had no way to pay for that B&B.

He literally would have rocked up there, soaking wet, probably with many broken bones and no money, and somehow he’s still chilling out in a bed while a lovely old woman brings him tea and biscuits.

It just doesn’t make sense anymore.

So much so that we can only laugh and continue to religiously watch this programme while complaining about it until the day we die.

What a life.