These Are The Alarming Statistics They Don’t Want You To See

Statistics are usually pretty boring. I've come up with some interesting statistics that might appeal to those that are easily amused and also particularly fond of Dad jokes. These are genuinely the statistics that "they" don't want you to see, mostly because they are completely fabricated for the purpose of wordplay. Being an adult is fun.

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1. Exagerration has increased by 500% 2. Figures show that fans of the Titanic rose. 3. Price of construction alignment tools levelled off last year. 4. Price of helium balloons goes up 100% 5. High level of death among the elderly dies off. 6. Number of Hide And Seek-related injuries unfounded. 7. Number of registered clumsy people drops. 8. Beach balls hit hard by inflation. 9. Price of hiring a builder now officially gone through the roof. 10. Studies show that attention spans have reduced by 11. Number of people ironing clothes has decreased. 12. Last year, the number of people tripping fell. 13. Number of elevator accidents last year initially rose, then fell. 14. Impressive figures among model accountants. 15. Number of those disinterested in oral sex goes down.