Everyone wants to be stinking rich.
It’s quite a simple fact of life. Even though money can’t buy happiness, it can buy a new DJI Mavic Pro drone, and it’s much nicer to look at yourself crying from 43ft in the sky than at eye level in the mirror.
As we’ve seen, science has proven that there is a direct correlation between your name and whether you are likely to be single or a cheater. Latest developments from the British Institute of Linguistics Laboratory (BULL) have shown that you can accurately predict who is likely to be a millionaire, based solely on their name.
We are choosing to take this information with pinch of salt. If your name matches any of those below, it’s entirely possible that you might become a millionaire.
Female
Kate Isagoodsaver
Sarah Willmarrywell
Róisín Hasalawsuitcomingup
Mary Playsthelotto
Rebecca Gamblesalot
Fiona Isgoingondragonsden
Emma Workshardplayssoft
Lucy Hasrobbedabank
Siobhán Bankheist
Niamh Taxevader
Aoife Daddysrich
Claire Wolfofwallstreet
Male
Brian Inventedfacebook
Seán Conman
Neil Stillhashiscommunionmoney
Colm Isverytight
Barry Screwingthegovernment
Simon Doctorshisbankstatements
Alan Veryhardworker
Rob Riggedthecommunitylotto
John Hasasolidinheritancecoming
Darragh Stealsfromthetrocairebox
Liam Stealsfromhisgranny
Mark Zuckerberg
