Life | LOL | 1 year ago

Everyone wants to be stinking rich.

It's quite a simple fact of life. Even though money can't buy happiness, it can buy a new DJI Mavic Pro drone, and it's much nicer to look at yourself crying from 43ft in the sky than at eye level in the mirror.

As we've seen, science has proven that there is a direct correlation between your name and whether you are likely to be single or a cheater. Latest developments from the British Institute of Linguistics Laboratory (BULL) have shown that you can accurately predict who is likely to be a millionaire, based solely on their name.

We are choosing to take this information with pinch of salt. If your name matches any of those below, it's entirely possible that you might become a millionaire.


Female

Kate Isagoodsaver

Sarah Willmarrywell

Róisín Hasalawsuitcomingup

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Mary Playsthelotto

Rebecca Gamblesalot

Fiona Isgoingondragonsden

Emma Workshardplayssoft

Lucy Hasrobbedabank

Siobhán Bankheist

Niamh Taxevader

Aoife Daddysrich

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Claire Wolfofwallstreet

 

Male

Brian Inventedfacebook

Seán Conman

Neil Stillhashiscommunionmoney

Colm Isverytight

Barry Screwingthegovernment

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Simon Doctorshisbankstatements

Alan Veryhardworker

Rob Riggedthecommunitylotto

John Hasasolidinheritancecoming

Darragh Stealsfromthetrocairebox

Liam Stealsfromhisgranny

Mark Zuckerberg

 

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Life, Funny, LOL, money, personality