Gardaí are utterly fascinating human beings.
There’s quite a few Gardaí knocking around the country at the moment, I would estimate that there are over 100 Gardaí in Ireland, which is quite a few.
My favourite thing about our beloved law enforcers is how different they all are. Every member of An Garda Síochána is a unique little snowflake.
Here’s 4 types of Gardaí we’ve all encountered.
The ‘All Business’ Garda
This law-enforcing soul is having none of your messing, you little delinquent. The uniform is in pristine condition and by Christ does this Garda’s attitude towards the law match it. ABG can sense your temptation to commit a very minor crime before you’ve even allowed it to reach your thought process.
Don’t even think about trying to have a chat with ABG on a sunny day in town because he/she is too busy protecting our nation from the threat of crimes such as littering, urinating in public and obnoxious loutism. ABG’s favourite phrases are “Move it along here thank you folks” and “Ye have no business being here”.
The ‘You’re Actually Sound For A Garda’ Garda
Image via RTE
Life suddenly becomes clearer after an encounter with this particular brand of Garda. Could it possibly be that members of An Garda Síochána are just regular people doing their best to get through life, working hard to try and make a difference in the world? Very very possibly.
This Garda talks to you like a normal person, maybe even asks how your day is going. Shocked but drawn in, you confide in this Garda. One time you forgot to scan a punnet of plums in the supermarket and ended up robbing them. You didn’t realise until you got home and at that point it was too late, you were too embarrassed to bring them back. The Garda understands. The ‘You’re Actually Sound For A Garda’ Garda’s most used phrases are “Be not afraid. I go before you always. Come follow me. And I will give you rest” and “Go on I’ll leave you off this time”.
The ‘Wrong Line Of Work’ Garda
Any time you see WLOWG, something just doesn’t feel right. He/she does a fine job, but seems to fit into various tasks a bit too comfortably. WLOWG might be asked to make announcements at a festival, but decides to rap the instructions better than any of our 12 Irish rappers ever could.
Maybe a car is broken down on the M50, so WLOWG assists the changing of the tyre, but also gives the car a quick once over and determines that an oil change will be necessary during the next 4-5 months to prolong the life of the car. A few years down the line, this particular type of Garda will find his or her true calling. WLOWG’s most common phrases are “I’m actually able to talk to cats so that’s how I got him down from the tree” and “…so I just delivered the baby there and then on the roadside”.
The Banter Garda
There’s a special place in Heaven reserved for Banter Garda, who doesn’t take life too seriously and fully understands the bizarre relationship that Irish people have with any authority figures. We just want to have a laugh and establish that you are not going to bait the living life out of us with your baton, should the need arise.
BG has no issue whatsoever is posing for a photograph with you and the gang, and will even allow one of you to try on the regulation Garda uniform hat. BG thrives at festivals and has a lot of time for tourists and divils. BG’s favourite phrases are “No I’ll get in trouble if I give you a go of the handcuffs” and “Go on so, quickly while the boss isn’t looking”.
