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25th April 2016
04:17pm BST

This law-enforcing soul is having none of your messing, you little delinquent. The uniform is in pristine condition and by Christ does this Garda's attitude towards the law match it. ABG can sense your temptation to commit a very minor crime before you've even allowed it to reach your thought process.
Don't even think about trying to have a chat with ABG on a sunny day in town because he/she is too busy protecting our nation from the threat of crimes such as littering, urinating in public and obnoxious loutism. ABG's favourite phrases are "Move it along here thank you folks" and "Ye have no business being here".
The 'You're Actually Sound For A Garda' Garda
Any time you see WLOWG, something just doesn't feel right. He/she does a fine job, but seems to fit into various tasks a bit too comfortably. WLOWG might be asked to make announcements at a festival, but decides to rap the instructions better than any of our 12 Irish rappers ever could.
Maybe a car is broken down on the M50, so WLOWG assists the changing of the tyre, but also gives the car a quick once over and determines that an oil change will be necessary during the next 4-5 months to prolong the life of the car. A few years down the line, this particular type of Garda will find his or her true calling. WLOWG's most common phrases are "I'm actually able to talk to cats so that's how I got him down from the tree" and "...so I just delivered the baby there and then on the roadside".
The Banter Garda
There's a special place in Heaven reserved for Banter Garda, who doesn't take life too seriously and fully understands the bizarre relationship that Irish people have with any authority figures. We just want to have a laugh and establish that you are not going to bait the living life out of us with your baton, should the need arise.
BG has no issue whatsoever is posing for a photograph with you and the gang, and will even allow one of you to try on the regulation Garda uniform hat. BG thrives at festivals and has a lot of time for tourists and divils. BG's favourite phrases are "No I'll get in trouble if I give you a go of the handcuffs" and "Go on so, quickly while the boss isn't looking".Explore more on these topics: