Emojis, am I right?
They are essential in aiding humanity’s descent into abolishing all face-to-face contact altogether. What’s better than actually talking to someone? Texting! What’s better than texting someone? Using emojis!
While we have an extensive range of emojis available to us at any given moment, I’m greedy. I want more. I want a bank of useful emojis that adapt to my personal interests.
Here’s 10 emojis I am submitting to Apple for consideration for their database.
1. Billy Roll
Ireland’s prince deserves to be immortalised in emoji form. Furthermore, I would like to propose we update the Irish flag with Mr. William Baguette in the middle, but that’s another day’s work.
2. EpiPen
This could save a lot of valuable time in an emergency situation. Smarten up, Apple.
3. Maura Derrane
Valuable minutes are lost each day to the frequency at which people have to type all 12 characters of her name. Stop the madness!
4. Confession Box
It will make arranging confessions with your priest a whole lot easier and also allow you to refer to Usher’s 2004 album with great ease.
5. Corned Beef
You can simply never have enough cooked meat emojis and I am prepared to go to court over that statement.
6. Garda
The keepers of the peace work hard and rarely get the recognition they deserve. Please, Apple, reward them their worth.
7. Rosary Beads
If your friend is taking too long to meet you at a designated meeting point, simply send this emoji multiple times to represent each decade you have been waiting.
8. Jellies
No real explanation here, just really like jellies.
9. Child of Prague
Need good weather for a particular occasion but can’t find your blasted COP statue? Not to worry, simply text this emoji to yourself and then leave your phone outside overnight.
10. Harambe
RIP in peace. Forever in our hearts. Gone but never forgotten x
