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10th June 2016
05:07pm BST

6. I will in my back be buying a bottle of water. Doesn't it run out of the taps at home?
7. It's as handy to have a few drinks at home rather than going to a hot, sweaty club surrounded by eejits.
8. Can I borrow a cigarette? I'm not buying a box anymore, I'm trying quit.
9. A wedding present? Surely my attendance is enough of a gift for those two.
10. (After everyone else has bought a round and it's their turn) Sorry guys, I have to go, I've work in the morning.
11. I brought my own snacks for the cinema. It's a racket what they're charging in there for a few mouthfuls of popcorn. I won't pay it.
12. This all you can eat buffet is a challenge and I will be getting my money's worth if it kills me.
13. These yoghurts are only a week out of date. They're grand, they were in the fridge.
14. I just don't see why I should be forking out for internet when the neighbours next door are blatantly stealing it and Michael spends half his time watching filthy videos on it.
15. A tip? We're not in America. They're paid to serve us. I don't get a tip for my job.
16. WHERE ARE MY COUPONS I NEED THEM I'M GOING TO DO THE BIG SHOP IN THE MORNING?!
17. Sorry, I've no change on me now. I'll get you back later when I find an ATM.
18. There's no sense in splitting the bill three ways because I didn't have wine and Amy had a starter and I know Sinéad horsed into my dessert when I went to the bathroom.
19. They were giving out free samples of moisturiser in town earlier so I took twelve of them. It smells vile but it'll be good for the holidays, perfect hand luggage size.
20. Disposable razors? You'd get about six months out of one of them, if you're clever about it.
21. Typical Eimear asking for Prosecco when it's my round. She was on the sparkling water up until now. She's a conniving little bitch.

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