Can't wait for the partial Ireland final, when's that on?

Another All Ireland Final is upon us and we've booked ourselves a first class seat on the bandwagon. We're probably going to take up two seats because that's how strongly we feel about *insert sporting event here*. Here's a few simple tips you can follow to help maximise the success of your bandwagoning for the All Ireland Final. You're welcome.

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1. Pick a team to align yourself with If you're not from either of the two counties playing in the All Ireland Final, you're going to need to decidedly pledge your allegiance to one of them. It's best to have some vague connection to the county you choose, perhaps your pet hamster's eyes were the same colour as their flag, or maybe your old babysitter's name is an anagram of one of the counties. Either way, you need to have a dangerous amount of passion for your newfound birthplace and be prepared to die for the cause.   2. Get an ill-fitting jersey and tattoo immediately Once you've nailed down the team you're going to support, you'll need to cement that bandwagon belief in two important ways. First, buy yourself a jersey. It'll be short notice as this generally happens the day of the match, so you'll take what you can get and be grateful for it. Tie a little hair bobbin around the site to recreate the 90s footballer's wife look. Secondly, get a very large tattoo of the county emblem somewhere on your person. Possibly your forehead or chest. Wherever suits.   3. Buy as many flags as you can carry Count up the windows facing the front of your house and purchase flags accordingly. Buy a few spares for the car and just general carrying out and about. Proudly stick them outside every crevice of your gaff and if you want to really prove your commitment, paint your house the same as your chosen county's colours. Neighbours need to know that there is a very committed bandwagoner nearby, so they can both respect and admire you from afar.   4. Pollute social media with your newfound beliefs Every social media account of yours needs to be laden with inspirational quotes, photographs of the team and general hashtag bandwagon behaviour. You get extra bonus points if a member of the team retweets or favourites your bullshit, and even more bonus points if you can Photoshop yourself into a picture with one of them. Add a twibbon to your profile picture and wear it with pride for a grand total of 24 hours, my friend. #NothingBeatsBeingThere   5. Deny others tickets by attending the match RTÉ Somehow a ticket will present itself to you in the days running up to the All Ireland Final. You'll pay a lot of money but it'll be worth it. To truly become a master bangwagoner, you need to deny true fans the opportunity to attend the match by heading along yourself. You'll moan when it rains and whine that you're cold throughout, but at least you'll get to tag yourself in on Facebook and get a few good Snapchats out of it. Congratulations, you have successfully bandwagoned your way through another All Ireland Final.   Check out some key phrases to help bluff your way through the All Ireland Final here.