Tinder was down last night.
If you weren’t aware of that fact, fair play on having a life and/or a loving relationship, whatever like, you don’t need to brag about it.
It was down though – all thanks to Facebook’s plans to restrict data access in the wake of the Cambridge Analytica scandal – and people were less than impressed.
Essentially, everybody freaked out because they couldn’t swipe through reams of total shite for hours on end.
However, there were also a few other things that us Tinder addicts (self-confessed) did while the app was down.
This is them.
1. Went outside for a bit
Look, if you can’t get your validation from strangers on the internet, you need to get your validation from strangers on the street.
… Until somebody looks at you the wrong the way, you call them out for being a creep, and slink back home annoyed that you ever left the gaff.
Every time.
2. Set up a Bumble account
Bumble’s like Tinder except it’s supposed to be ‘feminist’ because women have to message first.
Which is grand and everything until the responses you get are the least feminist words you’ve ever read in your life.
Think ‘I fancy your body but not your face’ and ‘wanna drive to mine and have sex in my car park before my girlfriend gets home?’
Not great, like.
3. Talked to a lad in a bar for the first time in eight months
Is it really small talk if you can’t simultaneously lurk their Facebook, Instagram, and second cousin’s LinkedIn page though?
Not worth it. They could be anybody.
4. Wrote a lengthy Facebook post laying into Mark Zuckerberg
Is he for real like? How dare he give out everybody’s information without their permission and subsequently then try to fix the issue leading to Tinder being inaccessible for a few hours.
So rude of him.
5. Deleted Bumble
It’s just not the SAME.
6. Cried
We’re all going to be alone forever, lads.
Just accept it.
