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Published 17:36 30 Apr 2017 BST
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Prepare yourselves for a good laugh because this is brilliant: 1. I encourage the kids to watch as much TV as possible, so they will leave me the hell alone. Feel free to do the same. 2. Don’t waste your valuable time cooking or providing healthy snacks. Just give them the pizza and snacks I leave. 3. They do still breastfeed on demand. Just download a video on Youtube. It’s not hard or I would not do it.
4. Do not take any kittens/candy/puppies from David. Or take a ride in his van.
5. If any of my neighbours come to the door, treat them like Jehovah's Witnesses. Don’t lend them any eggs/milk/cigarettes. They know where the store is. And no, you don’t want to babysit for them.
6. Let the kids have as much sugar as they want, as long as they will go away. They take pills to sleep anyway.
7. If you have any boys over just make sure they have an uncle/dad/brother/friend that I can call later.
8. Don’t answer the house phone unless you feel like paying bills.
9. If you look through my drawers, please throw away any overdue bills and gum wrappers.
10. Do not believe ANYTHING the kids tell you.Woman who insisted her dog is vegan proved wrong on live TV
Who would’ve thought? This Morning took on a groundbreaking biological experiment during their show a few years back, led by the inquisitive Professor Eamonn Holmes who found out, once and for all, a definitive answer to one of life’s most perplexing questions. Do dogs, who are the world’s most abundant land-based carnivore, prefer meat or not-meat? […]
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2 years ago
This uber Irish note in a second-hand copy of Gone Girl will give you a laugh
By Katy Thornton Highlighting some of Ireland’s top hiding locations. One of the best things about shopping for books second hand is the possibility of finding gems like this. Declan Cashin (@Tweet_Dec) agrees, posting a picture of a second-hand copy of thriller Gone Girl with a very personal inscription. Dated 15th July 2014, friend Lucy appeared to […]
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4 years ago
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