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10th Jan 2017

Irish teen finally locates ‘dheinims dubha agus m’Umbro top’

Ciara Knight

This is a breaking news story.

It was announced earlier today that an unnamed Irish teen has finally located his ‘dheinims dubha agus m’Umbro top’, after a lengthy and stressful search.

Members of the public volunteered in a bid to help retrieve the items, which were said to be of extreme sentimental value to the owner. We spoke to one of the volunteers, Michael Fakesurname, after the news broke this morning.

“If anything we’re all just massively relieved that this young lad has the dheinims dubha and Umbro top back in his possession. It doesn’t take a psychologist to see how upset he was, the poor young fella was distraught. We had a few false alarms where one of the volunteers thought she had found them, but they were actually dheinims gorm and m’Kappa top. Easy enough mistake to make.

We stuck with it anyway, it’s a combination of luck and the determination of all involved that got these éadaí back to their rightful owner. Although he doesn’t want to be named, I can assure you, that lad is beside himself this evening. It’s a great victory for him, for his community and the country as a whole. Éire abú!”

While many are celebrating tonight, a certain question still remains. Not “Cá bhfuil mo dheinims agus m’Umbro top?”, but rather “Cá raibh mo dheinims agus m’Umbro top?” Clothes don’t simply vanish into thin air. They were stolen and somebody needs to be brought to justice. We will stop at nothing to find the perpetrator.

This is Ciara Knight for Her.ie, reminding you to léigh anois go cúramach, ar do scrúdpháipéar, na treoracha agus na ceisteanna a ghabhann le Cuid A.