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23rd March 2016
02:14pm GMT
"'He Who Must Not Be Named' was definitely a contributing factor of my cancelling the meet and greets. He was just pure evil and kept telling me he 'nose best', which I found weird because he doesn't even have a nose. I asked him how he smelled and he said 'fantastic'. Oh wait that's actually pretty funny!"
2. Kanye West's Twitter Feed
"I'm amazed I'm still here to tell the tale after meeting Yeezy's Twitter feed. I mean, seriously, what is that garbage? He needs to be stopped."
3. Al From Toy Story
"I put on a brave face in that photograph, but I was disgusted to meet this guy. What an appalling human being. He was just so greedy and disrespectful towards the toys in that movie. HE STOLE WOODY FOR GOD'S SAKE! He is scum."
4. Quinoa
"This little jerk was awful. I can't even pronounce quinoa and I refuse to learn how. I was about to go on stage to a crowd of 45,000 people and this meet and greet left a really bitter taste in my mouth. What a bland and unnecessary individual."
5. A Dinosaur
"Am I crazy? An actual dinosaur turned up to my meet and greet in Detroit. His arms were so short he couldn't even hug me properly. I felt bad but then quickly remembered that I am completely devoid of any consideration for other human beings."
6. The Morbegs!
"This was the last straw for me. How am I expected to pose with these majestic creatures and still be considered a credible musician? I'm sick of it. I quit."
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