The Hills are alive with the sound of drama.
It came to our television screens at the perfect time where our adolescent minds needed further reasons to hate our parents, blaming our feelings on their lack of a summer house in California, not being millionaires and making you live in a country where teenage boys looked nothing like Abercrombie models. Sake.
It’s high time we give The Hills the recognition it deserves. The show was exceptional. It’s a straight up outrage that the scriptwriters never won any awards. Lauren’s truth bombs should be immortalised in stone and perched upon a mountain top. With gems such as, “I wanna forgive you and I wanna forget you”, the girl was a damn wordsmith.
Here’s 6 important life lessons we all learned from The Hills.
1. You can go out for dinner every night, but you need to be a millionaire to do so
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Often after watching an episode of The Hills, my impressionable little teenage mind would decide that going out for dinner with friends was a very cool and grown up thing to do. So I’d rally the (reluctant) troops and we’d go somewhere deeply glamorous, such as a pizzeria, and gorge ourselves on the high life.
Afterwards, realising we barely had enough money to get the bus home, it dawned on our adolescent selves that perhaps they can afford to go out all the time on The Hills because they have proper jobs and are also being paid an extortionate amount to be on the telly. Shame.
2. It’s not always a great idea to launch into an almighty bitching session about your friend’s ex boyfriend because they will probably get back together
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Countless times I witnessed Lauren burst like a ripe pimple when the likes of Audrina would come sniffling into her room, wailing about Justin Bobby’s latest act of disrespect. You could tell that Lauren had been waiting months to unleash her inner bitch and meticulously go through his every fault with the one person that needed to hear it.
More often than not, Audrina would get back with old JB roughly twelve minutes later and blatantly tell him everything unkind that Lauren had said. That would cause a rift between the two of them and the prolonged camera shot montages with a tense build up of music would ensue. FFS AUDRINA HE’S A SUCKY PERSON.
3. Friendships come and go quicker than a bowel movement after a strong coffee
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When you’re young and impressionable, you feel invincible. Nothing is ever going to come between you and your best friend Jenny who you blatantly have nothing in common with, aside from the fact that you live across the road from each other. It seemed like Lauren and Heidi would be BFFs 5eva, but, more shocking than the stock exchange crash of ’87, it all came to an end.
Lauren and Heidi’s friendship termination taught me that you can lose friends as quickly as you made them, and that your ex best friend who has wronged you will vehemently deny knowing what they did, no matter how many times your whiney little cry voice shouts ‘YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID’.
4. Never choose your boyfriend over Paris
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The words ‘Lauren didn’t go to Paris’ are forever ingrained in my memory, thanks to Lisa Love’s exceptional shade throwing. It’s almost as if she knew that Jason was going to be a big arsehole and convince Lauren to spend the summer with him, then break up with her as soon as the autumn breeze hit them.
Imagine if Lauren went to Paris? Anything could’ve happened. She might have eaten the perfect croissant, invented cronuts 10 years before anyone else did, predicted the death of Michael Jackson, ANYTHING. I’ll never forgive you Jason. I’ll never forgive what you did to Lauren’s career. You disgusting pig.
5. The quiet and unassuming ones always make the best friends
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Poor Whitney didn’t get as much credit as she deserved on The Hills. She started out as Lauren’s goody two-shoes workmate, but slowly crept her way into our hearts. Whitney was always thirsty to hear about Lauren’s latest bout of drama, but never offered up any of her own personal beef. Why? Because she more than likely didn’t have any. She was chill AF.
Whitney was the only person that remained a constant source of reliability for Lauren and we, as viewers, can never truly thank her enough for that. LC put up with a lot of shady dealings, but Whit always had her back. In my mind, they are still good friends and regularly meet up for fish pedicures.
6. Against all odds, there is life after The Hills
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When the series ended, and they revealed it all to be (as most of us suspected) completely scripted, my entire world came crumbling down. What’s left to live for? Another series of Scrubs? Get lost. I was six or seven months in mourning when The Hills ended. How dare they want to go and live their lives.
But then, like a beacon of light at the end of a tunnel, Stephanie Pratt resurfaced. Back, and, as always, in search of a boyfriend. Based on no research whatsoever, I’ve decided she’s the first person in the entire history of the world to appear on two successful “reality” television shows and I am in awe of her. Well done Stephanie and thank you for keeping The Hills alive with the sound of drama.
Lead image via MTV
