Folks, college degrees are garbage.
Fair enough they’re probably important, but my semester in psychology (which legitimately involved a treasure hunt that contributed to our final grade) has yet to prove its relevance to my life.
You can tell a lot about a person based on what they’ve chosen to study in college, it also helps if you have an overactive imagination.
Full disclosure: I possess a B.A. in Communications and I regularly refer to it as clown college. With that in mind, here’s what your college degree says about you.
Bachelor of Arts
Mate. You’re a spoofer of the highest order. It’s likely that Arts was your reserve option on the CAO and sure low and behold, here’s where we find ourselves. You scraped through the three years of college, turning up for the bare minimum of classes.
There wasn’t a house party you didn’t attend, and frankly, your grades reflected it. A few repeats later and look at you now: Flying high in the lighting section of a local department store. “It’s only temporary”, you remind yourself each morning.
Bachelor of Science
There was an optimistic head on your shoulders around the time of the CAO choices. You felt superior to those morons doing arts, but mostly you were swayed by a lack of any real hatred towards biology. It was a bit interesting and, as a huge Sabrina The Teenage Witch fanatic, you always wanted to find out what mitosis actually was.
You’ve put that Science degree to great use, currently working in the telecommunications industry but safe in the knowledge that, should a frog need to be dissected in the workplace at any stage, you can chip in and identify any vital organs.
Bachelor of Business
Take it easy, Young Entrepreneur Of The Year ’95-’96. You sold a few household items in a jumble sale outside your school at five years of age and look at you now: Working your way up the ranks at a local cinema and running a very successful Instagram account dedicated to Gavin & Stacey memes.
Business studies turned out to be a little bit more than the Leaving Cert led you to believe, but you powered through and scraped a very admirable 2.2. You’ve big dreams and you’re currently working on ‘the new Facebook’ with a few friends from school. Fair play.
Bachelor of Music
Carrying your guitar to class everyday certainly paid off, as your band is now headlining the local pub EVERY bank holiday Monday night. Haters can continue to hate because you have quite clearly made it in life. Busking in town every weekend is raking in upwards of €20 and sunshine, you are living the high life as a result.
Your parents are extremely proud and still hold onto the dream that someday you might enter The Voice (in Ireland) and land a highly coveted slot on your old college radio station talking about how disingenuous the music industry has gotten, man.
Some Sort Of Qualification In Philosophy
Ah come on. Seriously? You let your hippy ways get in the way of a career, something you realised very shortly after you realised you’d been spelling philosophy incorrectly for the entire three years of studying it. Your hummus stand at the local market has been thriving though, something that prestigious degree in thinking has definitely contributed to.
One time, the till ran out of paper, so you used your head (thanks to that Philosophy degree) and manually wrote the receipt on the back of your graduation certificate. Up there for thinking!
