Chrissy Teigen "full of regret" for not looking at baby Jack's face when he was born
"I was so scared of seeing him in my nightmares that I forgot about seeing him in my dreams."
Chrissy Teigen has opened up about her ongoing grief and moments she regretted about the loss of her baby, Jack.
The star tragically suffered a miscarriage last summer, since then she has been very open about sharing her pain and her experience with the tragic loss of her baby.
Since revealing the sad news in September Chrissy has been inspiring other women who have found themselves in a similar situation to speak out and seek help for their loss and grief.
In her latest Instagram post she talks about the pain she's feeling and the regret she had about after she lost her son.
The Instagram post reads, "these are from our video shoot for Wild in Mexico. I was 10 weeks along and out of my mind happy. I knew the video would take a bit to get together so thought it would be cute to share our news with the world through the ol classic hand on belly trick at the end."
She goes on to say how she "could have never imagined what would happen over the next 10 weeks...not sure I’ll ever be able to watch that video again without sobbing but I hope he feels my tears and knows we miss him so."
Their son Jack would have been born early this year, "he would have been here any day now - if he were like Luna and Miles, I'd probably be holding him as we speak."
Chrissy speaks openly about the regret she has about not seeing her son. "I am so full of regret that I didn't look at his face when he was born. I was so scared of seeing him in my nightmares that I forgot about seeing him in my dreams."
She says that even now she feels pain over the choice she made "I hurt every day from that remorse."
"This month is a rough reminder and to be honest, I thought the worst was over but I guess life and emotions aren’t on any sort of schedule."
She finishes the post by thanking her followers for their support and love. "Love you guys to pieces and am grateful for all your support and love. I firmly believe energy and healing travels through the night sky and I feel it, I promise I do. And I love you jack. I miss you so so much."