
Life


1. "Is that a candy cane in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" Cheeky.
2. *Hold mistletoe above head* “How did that get there?!” Subtle, very subtle.
3. "Apart from me, what else have you asked Santa for?" Classic.
4. a) "Would you like to pull my cracker". Easy...
b) "If you need a hand pulling your cracker, I’ve got two". Tiger.
5. "Would you like me to tinsel your Christmas balls?" Traditional play on words, nice.
6. "If you were a gift underneath my Christmas tree I wouldn’t be long unwrapping you". Corny.
7. "Can I be a merry gentleman and offer you my coat? It looks like reindeer... (rain dear)". Cheesy.
8. "Fancy a trip to Lapland?" Simple.
9. "I noticed there's no open fire, but I'll be happy to warm your chestnuts". We see what you did there.
10. "Excuse me, shouldn't you be on top of my tree?" Pass you the wine and cheese. Extra cheese.
11. "You have beautiful/massive baubles". Funny man.
12. "There is no room at the Inn let’s take this back to the manger?" Wahey.
13. a) "You're the perfect stocking filler." Two out of 10 for effort.
b) "I have a present for you, can I put it in your stocking?" Six out of 10.
14. "Shall I introduce you to Santa's little helper?" No.
15. "There is a ticket to the North Pole with your name on it." Pass.
16. "Santa knows if you've been bad or good, so just be bad and be good at it." Clever.
17. "You’re a real cracker... and I'm good a pulling." Juvenile but festive.
18. "There is a tree somewhere nearby that must be missing an Angel (or Northern Star if you know the hometown/location of your potential Christmas kiss)." Too much.
19. "You can hurry down my chimney any night." We see what you did there...
20. "Get your coat, it's freezing outside... and you've pulled." Very 1998 of you.
We had a joke about a 'White Christmas', but we decided that no one needed to hear it.
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