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18th May 2018
07:40pm BST
Wash your sins away with the help of the happy couple. It's yours for just £9.99.
2. Harry & Meghan Coffin
Prove your patriotism by being buried in a coffin fit for a sixth in line to the throne. RIP, champ.
3. Harry & Meghan Pregnancy Test
Depending on your intended outcome, feel one of two ways about the results with this smitten pair tagging along for company.
4. Harry & Meghan's Hot Sauce
Feeling hot hot hot? Add a little spice to your meal with Harry & Meghan's hot sauce. Just like their love, it will blow you away.
5. Harry & Meghan Bra & Knicker Set
Prove to the world that you're consumerist scum by wearing these under your regular clothes on Harry & Meghan's wedding day. The items are unisex and yours for just £24.95.
6. Harry & Meghan Nail Clippers
Tidy those thumbs and also fingers with this pocket-sized clipper, graced with His and Her Royal presence to guide you to safety.
7. Harry & Meghan Viagra
Get hard for your country with Harry and Meghan's official viagra merchandise. Then lie back and think of England, champ.
8. Harry & Meghan Verruca Socks
Love swimming but hate verrucas? Well fret no more as Harry and Meghan will keep your feet free from warts and they'll do it with a smile. These socks are yours for just £12.99 plus P+P.
9. Harry & Meghan Dildo
Do you love the Royals? Do you really and truly love them? Good. Then I do not need to finish this caption. Just go. That's enough. ENOUGH.
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