Ice creams are cool.
Much like your choice of car, perfume, handbag or phone cover, you can tell an awful lot about a person based on what ice cream they choose to treat themselves to.
Based on no quantifiable research whatsoever, here’s what your choice of ice cream says about you.
Magnum
One word springs to mind: NOTIONS. You’re a divil for the lavish lifestyle. Magnums typically cost €1,500 each, but that’s a minor expense in your privileged life. Nothing cools you down like indulging in an Almond Magnum, sitting poolside in your timeshare holiday home off the coast of Bora Bora.
The greatest day of your life was when Arnotts opened up that Magnum shop. Finally, you found a place where you could spend an average person’s life savings on an outfit, then celebrate with a 4,000 calorie treat. “I’ll just have fruit on mine, along with 6kg of chocolate. I’m trying to be good ;)”, you remarked to the disinterested member of staff.
Brunch
Life is too short for your timid little ways. You’re afraid of your own shadow and it’s time to face up to it: you’re a wimp. You lather yourself in factor 50 suncream on a rainy day ‘just incase’ and, to Teresa Mannion’s delight, you will never swim in the sea. Sure wouldn’t the sharks eat you alive?!
You’ve taken less Risks than the board game manufacturer’s returns department. Do yourself a favour and live a little. Go wild, treat yourself to a life full of spontaneity and wonder. The crumbs on a Brunch are steadily decreasing in quantity, much like your friends’ level of tolerance for your boring ways. Cop on.
Mr. Freeze
Buddy, you are tighter than Kylie Jenner’s hand around a sponsorship deal. It’s the summer, everyone is relaxing and having fun, but there you are spending a maximum of 35c on what is essentially a mouthful of ice and syrup.
“Oh I much prefer the taste of them”, you’ll tell your friends. But they’re wise to your penny pinching ways by now. You bring your own popcorn to the cinema, reuse stamps by steaming them off with the kettle and, most unforgivably, you photocopied your college textbooks to avoid paying for them. Actually no, that’s impressive. Fair play.
Calippo
We’ll put it this way, you definitely buy your clothes from the basic section of H&M. You enjoy life’s simple pleasures, a sunset walk on the beach followed by 4,000 poorly-filtered Instagrams, a cheeky glass of a vino of a Friday night with the girls, all whilst keeping time on your pristine Michael Kors watch. Bless.
You always go for the orange Calippo, ever since your Mam introduced you to it on holidays in Marbella when you were five. What’s great is that you have no hesitation in reminding everyone about the ‘gas’ tales of that holiday literally every time you have a Calippo. “It was so funny, we got sunburnt even though we had suncream on, hahahah!”
Feast
Call the Gardaí, we’ve got a lunatic on the loose. Your crazy ways simply cannot be tamed. You live life by nobody’s rules but your own and we truly respect you for that. Your tattoo says ‘Carpe Diem’ and that’s exactly what you did when it was engraved onto your person at 5am during your J1 in San Francisco.
Summer is an opportunity for you to kick back and really embrace the lunatic lifestyle. Every summer, you’ll drop everything and head abroad for roughly three months, occasionally posting Instagrams of yourself with luminous paint on various appendages of your body. Mammy can’t sleep for the worrying, mostly because you’ve openly said that The Peru Two are your idols.
Images via:
1. Popista
3. Pinterest
