Ciara Knight
Ciara writes features for JOE.co.uk and is doing her best.
Band names are ridiculous. Just think about how stupid Maroon 5 is, both as a name and a concept. Adam Levine should be truly disgusted with himself. If you’ve recently started a band but can’t come up with a ridiculous name, fear not, I’ve done the work for you. 1. Snotty Tissue. 2. Unwashed Tuxedo. 3. Prefab Classroom. […]
10 years ago
Warning: Contains sick burns.
10 years ago
It’s #NationalDrinkWineDay! “I’m just having ONE glass hahahahaha!” [Gif via GIPHY] Prepare yourself for an influx of insufferable Facebook statuses and Snapchats validating the extremely criminal decision to have a glass of wine on a Thursday. Here’s a rough estimate of what’s going to be polluting your timeline this evening. Facebook […]
10 years ago
The Labour Party have a grossly inaccurate photo in The Irish Times today. The Labour Party so out of touch they don’t even know there are only four members of One Direction #GE16 pic.twitter.com/tasSU9V7B6 — Lucinda Creighton (@LCreighton) February 18, 2016 As we can see, Paul Murphy, Lucinda Creighton, Gerry Adams, Micheál Martin and Shane […]
10 years ago
Emails are a weird vibe. It’s very hard to gauge the tone behind an email, which further adds to the case that we absolutely need a sarcasm font. Often, you’re emailing a stranger which proposes the classic question – can I make a weird pun about cheese or should I keep it professional? More often […]
10 years ago
Pretty controversial.
10 years ago
“Look up commerce in the dictionary because you mean business”
10 years ago
Victoria has never been to Coppers.
10 years ago
1997 was a big year.
10 years ago
Kanye, am I right? He’s a lunatic on Twitter these days, which coincides with the upcoming release of his new album. Imagine that. I really like his Tweeting style, so I’ve put together some reaction Tweets that I believe Kanye would send after watching a selection of movies. See if you can work out what […]
10 years ago
As we learned from my New Years Day and Christmas Day social media predictions, I can see into the future. Our phones are going to be polluted with vomit-inducing content this Valentine’s Day. The best defense we have is screenshotting these disturbing updates and making fun of them in our various WhatsApp groups. Here’s what I predict […]
10 years ago
Valentine’s Day is an ordeal. If you’re extremely single, don’t worry. We’ve got you covered with these printable anti-Valentine’s Day cards. Be sure to send a few to your worst enemies. They’ll laugh so hard they might pull a muscle. Serves them right.
10 years ago
Family WhatsApp Groups are gas.
10 years ago
Weekend breaks, am I right? They’re a real treat and it’s always nice to have something to look forward to. Between the planning and actually going on the trip, there’s a lot to get carried away with. Here’s the six stages you’ll experience when you make the potentially life-changing decision to embark on a weekend […]
10 years ago
Netflix is the best. That’s genuinely my Netflix password. Anyway, I’ve found that some of the programme descriptions on Netflix aren’t always very accurate. Many times I’ve been misled by an innocent explanation of a documentary and ended up watching something about people being deeply in love with rollercoasters. So, I’ve adjusted some Netflix descriptions […]
10 years ago
“All I want in life is to intimately perform in that 82,300-capacity venue three times with an average ticket price of €65”
10 years ago
Fiscal Space, am I right? Basically, the next Government has a bit of extra money, more than they technically need to cover the costs of public services. The surplus is estimated at around €12 billion for the next five years. Just some pocket change really. So, to alleviate the Government of the burden of deciding […]
10 years ago
Driving is hard. Not to feed into the stereotype, but some Mams aren’t the best at driving. They can sometimes be overcautious and a bit hesitant in certain situations. But what harm? Isn’t it better to arrive alive? In comparison, Dads are usually quite confident drivers, laughing in the face of hesitancy and overcautious tendencies. If […]
10 years ago
The French language is changing. It was recently announced that 2,000 spellings of French words would change and that the beloved circumflex would be discontinued. Furthermore, I would like to propose a few word changes, to make learning more fun. Trampoline = Le jumpy jumpy Egg = L’ugg France = Pas Irlande Trousers = Les leg coveurs Potato = Le […]
10 years ago
Gerry Adam’s Twitter feed though. As we all know, putting text beside a photograph of a famous person automatically makes it a quote that they’ve said. This stunning technique has landed me in some hot water before (Oprah, I can only apologise so much for alleging that you pickle tennis balls for fun). I’ve […]
10 years ago
25 is a grim age. You’re in no man’s land. If you go missing, it’s the last year you’ll be described as being in your mid-twenties, you’re in the overs category on X Factor and you’re halfway to 50. Let’s continue this needless journey into self-loathing by looking at things famous people had done by the time […]
10 years ago
Gigs, am I right? People often say that Ireland would be a great country if we could roof it. Well, I believe that gigs would be a great outing if we could eliminate people from the equation. People are the absolute worst in every situation, but for some reason, at gigs, they are exceptionally irritating. […]
10 years ago
Parents are technologically inept. It’s fine, they didn’t grow up with the same unnecessary abundance of gadgets that we did. However, because it’s our generation that’s supposed to be extremely gifted in the tech department, all of our parents’ queries, no matter how ridiculous, fall to us. Here’s 21 things your parents have definitely asked […]
10 years ago
YouTube is delightful
10 years ago
Elections, am I right? All the canvassing, posters and empty promises get a bit tiring after a while. But not anymore. We’ve managed to coax some of our Irish favourites into running for election, but they need your support. Please vote for these treasured folk on 26th February. Check out the latest candidates along with their […]
10 years ago
Quinoa, being the main one.
10 years ago
Vanity Fair have shared their 2016 Hollywood issue. It’s lovely and the women all look gorgeous and they’re very deserving of their place in the lineup. But what about women in Ireland? When will their heyday come? Today. That is when. Nadine Coyle The nation’s favourite birthday-confused popstar is truly deserving of a place in […]
10 years ago
Divils, the pair of them.
10 years ago
Facebook messages are a strange vibe.
10 years ago
Stimulating our senses is a God-given human right.
10 years ago
“The girls in school were bitches, ‘Saint Frigid’ they’d call me”
10 years ago
Eating, am I right? You can be the most confident person in the world, but that doesn’t make you exempt from feeling extremely self-conscious and paranoid when eating alone. Dining solo in a restaurant is an emotional rollercoaster. Let’s take a look at some of the emotions you may experience. Table Panic Where do you […]
10 years ago
Texting is beyond the skill set of Dads.
10 years ago
Twitter <3
10 years ago
Small talk is insufferable. It happens far too often and I have had enough. I don’t want to make civil chit-chat, I want to dive straight into the deep stuff or else sit in awkward silence. Here’s 21 things we’ve all said in an awkward small talk situation. 1. “The clocks must be going forward soon […]
10 years ago
Fan art is the act of a fan drawing their favourite celebrity, as opposed to the fruits of an extractor fan’s painting career. Now that that’s been established, lately I’ve been inspired by the world of art. In school we had an art teacher that would frequently adjust her knickers, so I nicknamed her Picasso […]
10 years ago
Their ship name would be Nathanna.
10 years ago
He is a divil.
10 years ago
Cast your mind back to the summer of 2001. The Celtic Tiger was rampant and our ears were flooded with the glorious sounds of Geri Halliwell, S Club 7, DJ Ötzi and NSYNC. What a time (it was) to be alive. Some of us were far too young to recognise that NSYNC’s ‘Pop’ video was extremely cringe overall, […]
10 years ago
Lips, am I right? via GIPHY We’re in peak lip chapping weather right now and it is terrifying. Every day is a struggle to keep those lips moist, so let’s delve into the deep rooted psychological influences on why you’ve purchased a certain type of lip balm. Carmex You’re a very organised and neat person. […]
10 years ago
Avril Lavigne was gas. She fueled many a teenage angst with her haphazard ways and blatant disregard for societal norms, the gas bitch. I learned a lot from Avril and I’d imagine I wasn’t alone. You Can Never Use Too Much Eyeliner Avril seemed to take it upon herself as a daily challenge to see […]
10 years ago
It is an emotional rollercoaster.
10 years ago
It is literally unbelievable
10 years ago
It’s Australia Day? That wasn’t a question, I was just using an inflection at the end there to sound Australian. Finally, some of our friends are returning from Australia, bringing their tales and experience for our ears to be polluted with. Here’s what they’ll be saying, for the first while at least. 1. I forgot how […]
10 years ago
Granny could achieve world peace with the lighting of a candle
10 years ago
Michael D Higgins is probably on Snapchat. I believe that he is hiding his account from us because it is simply too fire for our fragile little eyes to handle. Nevertheless, I have let my imagination run wild and here is what Michael D Higgins is probably Snapchatting on a regular basis. […]
10 years ago
“Sometimes I can be a little cross”
10 years ago
Non-humans have been silenced for too long. We’ve all been moved by Humans Of New York, but what about the non-humans? Surely they deserve a voice or overactive imagination to get their stores across? Not to worry, I’m on it. John, 37, can’t stand sports. He’s been at every match in Croke Park since the beginning […]
10 years ago
Some of these are stunning.
10 years ago
Hotels allow us to tap into our inner slob.
10 years ago