Ciara Knight
Ciara writes features for JOE.co.uk and is doing her best.
“I LOST 3lbs!” Wanting to spend all your waking hours bragging is exhausting. Why won’t people provide you with a suitable platform to boast non-stop about how things are continually coming up Millhouse for you? Sake. Well fret no more. I’ve come up with a handy guide that you can reference when you desperately want […]
10 years ago
The 2016 Olympic Games are exactly two weeks away. I’m very much looking forward to keeping an eye on the various sporting events as they unfold over the next while. For some reason, sporting events are an ok reason to have the telly on in work, which means a wandering eye is excused on the […]
10 years ago
Earlier today, Liam Payne announced that he has signed to Capitol Records. It’s a big day and I’ll be surprised if I get to sleep at all tonight with what’s going on. The future of One Direction is again uncertain and we need to sadly acknowledge that we’re probably a bit further away from having a 1D […]
10 years ago
Today, the Dáil gets their summer holidays. As of 8.48pm this evening, the top buttons are being undone, the high heels will be kicked off and the ties are going straight around their heads. These lucky folk are off for three months and it’s likely that they won’t know what to do with all this […]
10 years ago
I’ve always wanted to interview someone connected to a political heavyweight. Unfortunately, I’m still waiting for that day to come. In the meantime, I’ve somehow managed to snag an interview with Melania Trump’s speechwriter, Meredith McIver. It’s over the phone, as she lives in the U.S. and I couldn’t afford a flight over. Also, it’s impossible […]
10 years ago
If you childhood wasn’t engulfed in Sabrina references then get the heck out of here, farm boy. It was a sad day when Sabrina went to college because it meant that even a witch with magical powers couldn’t fend off the reality of growing up and moving on in life. I wanted her to stay in Westbridge […]
10 years ago
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10 years ago
Ladies, this is your day. It’s a pretty big week in the horse calendar, so much so that they’ve almost forgotten the time that some of their friends were accidentally included in beef items back in the winter of 2013. Grievances aside, horses are getting dolled up to the tens for their special couple of days at the […]
10 years ago
Movies are life. It’s always nice to escape the monotony of everyday life by completely immersing yourself in a stunning piece of entertainment for 90 minutes. Often, I find my mind wandering during films, to scenarios where the cruel ending could be altered with something as simple as a text message being sent to one […]
10 years ago
Today, two heavyweights of the celeb world celebrate their birthdays. SpongeBob SquarePants turns 30 (proof here) and Conor McGregor is 28. This means that SpongeBob is allegedly 2 years older than McGregor. What’s that at the front door? It’s a sink. Let it in. Let that sink in. Having recently watched The Parent Trap, I know what signs to […]
10 years ago
A concise two months after we all filled in our Census forms, the results are in. More importantly, I put together a vital series of questions for our readers, ranging from alternative medicine in modern day Ireland to how the ending of Inception left you feeling. Literally tens of responses flew in and we were overwhelmed with the commitment […]
10 years ago
Eircode, Eircode, Eircode. The Government is currently justifying the fact that they’ve spent €38m on postcodes for every home in the country. It’ll be good for us, apparently. While I’m yet to be convinced by the necessity for having to add another line into online billing information sections, I’ve taken the time to come up […]
10 years ago
More like Calvin and Sobbes. Earlier, Calvin Harris fairly went off on one about Taylor Swift. Now, he’s turned his anger towards our beloved Teletubbies. There’s no stopping Calvin at the moment, he’s fast becoming the new Kanye West of Twitter with his unexpected outbursts and harsh truth droppings. I am fearful for my own safety […]
10 years ago
Selena Gomez, the jig is up. Today, it was revealed that one of Selena’s photos has officially become the most liked image on Instagram. While this is a wonderful occasion that we should all be celebrating together with gay abandon, I have unearthed some damning evidence to prove that all is not quite what it […]
10 years ago
Nobody, in the history of the world, has ever bought a packet of sucky sweets. They just materialise out of thin air at random intervals in our lives. They’re an integral part to any authentic Irish person’s life. Has a car journey on this emerald isle ever successfully taken place without the presence of a […]
10 years ago
Celebrities are just like you and I. There’s a particular strand of celebrity that we need to address. It’s the lesser-known celebrity that you might spot in a film and spend the entire portion of the movie trying to remember what else they’ve starred in. These folk need a name, something we can use to easily identify them and […]
10 years ago
More like eBae, am I right? eBay is a wonderful website that allows you to bid for things that you’d like to own. It’s as close to legal gambling as many of us will ever reach. Sometimes I’ll find myself engaging in a very heated bidding session on eBay for the sake of successfully winning […]
10 years ago
We’ve somehow managed to snag ourselves an interview with the moth that landed on Ronaldo during the last night’s Euro 2016 final. I’m nervous. I’m waiting in a coffee shop to interview the woman of the hour. She was viewed by millions worldwide last night, in a moment that is set to transcend the ages. She’s here. […]
10 years ago
Pokémon is back and the world is rightfully losing its reason over it. The app isn’t currently available in Ireland, but let’s just say there are ways and means to work around the region block *cough* Google it *cough*. Here’s what happened when I went to catch ’em all in Dublin. I ventured out and about in search of […]
10 years ago
Rider? But I barely know her! Beyoncé played Croke Park on Saturday night and, by all accounts, it appears to have been an extremely lit occasion. I’m more interested in getting to know the real Bey. What does she have for dinner? What’s her favourite film? How often does she change the nail polish on her toenails, […]
10 years ago
Us Irish are gas craic altogether, begorrah. We’re always getting up to no good with our big divil heads on us, eating potatoes, drinking alcohol and having Mams, sure we’re massive eejits really! Roughly once every 25 years, someone Irish does something so gas that it stops you in your tracks and makes you glad to […]
10 years ago
Beyoncé it isn’t so! The big deal herself is in town at the moment, getting ready to play a show in Croke Park and we are all truly beside ourselves with excitement and anticipation. There’s a certain type of person that goes to a Beyoncé concert, meaning there’s a particular type of conversation you can […]
10 years ago
Frankly, who doesn’t want to be a millionaire? The series ran for sixteen years and I was deeply enthralled in it from the outset. The terminology alone has contributed to roughly 70% of my vocabulary today. ‘Fastest finger first’ is a phrase I use pretty much daily in a variety of instances, so I would like to […]
10 years ago
Titanic was released in 1997. I was only a young slip of a thing at the time, so I wasn’t allowed to watch it, nor was I particularly aware of Kate Winslet’s acting prowess. When I reached an almost suitable age to watch the film, the scene where they are blatantly riding in the car […]
10 years ago
It’s hard to remember what life was like before we saw Conor McGregor’s perky little bottom. He posed in the nip for ESPN the other day and I initially got quite a fright when his butt greeted me all over the internet. Now that I’ve had time to digest it, I’m absolutely fine with Conor’s naked body. There’s […]
10 years ago
Animals, am I right? They’re mostly adorable, allowing us to forget momentarily that in a Hunger Games or zombie apocalypse situation, they would absolutely devour us all in a heartbeat. Lately, I’ve been finding the names of certain animals to be quite stupid and defunct, so I’ve taken it upon myself to improve them. Feel free […]
10 years ago
We always knew this day would come. Pinterest The old woman who lives in a shoe has decided to move on and upgrade to a more spacious living arrangement: a wellington boot! This means good news for us property porn enthusiasts, as we get to tempt ourselves with photographs of her stunning abode now that it’s officially […]
10 years ago
What’s in a profession, that which we call a Rose? As we’ve previously seen, there is definitely a direct link between your name and your chosen profession. Comments under the last article included “Haha so true” and “OMG @Eimear it’s us!”, so we can safely conclude that I got a few of them right. Well, I’m ready […]
10 years ago
Guess Who was a formative part of many childhoods. Rarely a day goes by where I don’t find myself absolutely gagging for a quick game of Guess Who, but unfortunately, life tends to get in the way. Today, my mind is wandering into the area concerning who would play the role of each Guess Who […]
10 years ago
Tom Hiddleston has been photographed wearing an ‘I <3 TS t-shirt’. Yes “I ❤ T.S” ? #rhodeisland #TomHiddleston #taylorswift #Hiddleswift #hiddleswifties #hiddlestoners #Swifties A photo posted by Actualizaciones Hiddleswift ? (@hiddleswifties) on Jul 3, 2016 at 7:41pm PDT It seems a natural conclusion to draw that ‘T.S.’ is his fake girlfriend, Taylor Swift. However, with […]
10 years ago
Biscuits are an essential part of everyday life. They cheer you up, make you feel warm inside and provide the perfect accompaniment to a cup of tea. While divisions may arise as to how one makes a cup of tea correctly, something that unites us all the world over is the necessity to have an accompanying little crunchy […]
10 years ago
Alcohol is the devil. There’s something about a whiff of a vodka, soda water and lime that makes you want to destroy your entire life’s doing in as little time as possible. Enter: Mobile phones. Whoever invented them should be shot for not having some sort of breathalyser feature built in to prevent drunk texting […]
10 years ago
THIS JUST IN: There’s a hole in the ozone layer. There’s also something wrong with the left phalange, but we’ll worry about that nearer the time. It’s been announced that the hole in the ozone layer has gotten slightly smaller. That’s all well and good, but we still need to be mindful of our excessive […]
10 years ago
The innocence of childhood deserves to be ruined. Lego was a staple part of any respectable childhood. It provided hours of endless entertainment, whether that was as a result of a successful build or watching a parent hop around yelping in pain after standing on a corner piece. The stock photos that accompany lego have […]
10 years ago
Quotes, am I right? Every now and then, a quote comes along and stops you in your tracks. For me, it was the time Barney informed us all that we should treat others the way we would like to be treated. That was deep, even for a dinosaur. Our brains are trained to believe that […]
10 years ago
June was another strong month on Twitter. Twitter users surpassed themselves in terms of causing a rapid flow of air being exhaled from the nostrils of others. This month, topics covered included cheese gluttony, the passion of Shrek fans, sore throats, emoji discoveries and much more. Here’s 30 of the funniest tweets you might’ve missed in June. […]
10 years ago
Taylor Swift has a lot of money. She’s currently on holidays in Italy with her “boyfriend” Tom Hiddleston, living love’s young (and entirely fabricated) dream. However, her detailed bank statements tell a very different story to what we have been led to believe. Someone on ‘the inside’ has leaked Taylor’s statements from the trip and we feel […]
10 years ago
Finally, a day for society’s most under-represented folk! Today, 29th June 2016, marks a very important date in the heterosexual calendar – it’s Heterosexual Pride Day. You could almost hear the excitement buzzing among heterosexual commuters on the way to their heterosexual jobs during their heterosexual bus journeys this morning. There’s a lot lined up for […]
10 years ago
It was announced earlier that Irish fans are going to be awarded a medal for sportsmanship by the mayor of Paris. I’m finding this incredibly gas, in a sort of ‘it would only happen to us’ type of way. The logistics are what transpire to be the most amusing. Is the mayor going to hand them […]
10 years ago
Wimbledon is upon us once more. It can get a bit monotonous watching these sports folk essentially hitting a ball back and forth over the net for hours at a time. It’s only natural that our minds tend to wander… Personally, my mind wanders into the strangest of places, where the players’ rackets are replaced by random […]
10 years ago
Yesterday, Niall Horan uploaded a Snapchat of his fridge contents. It’s essential viewing for any fan of his. Having been following him on Snapchat for months, I was certainly grateful to finally get a glimpse into his eating habits. Unexpectedly, there were some very bizarre items in his refrigerator. Let’s take a closer look… 1. A Snowball from […]
10 years ago
The Care Bears are easily my favourite collection of multicoloured bear characters. Their whimsical ways and insignia’d bellies certainly moulded my childhood mind into the eventual spectacle of a person that I am today. I often wonder about what happened to those guys. Let’s find out… Cheer Bear Always concerned with helping others, Cheer Bear […]
10 years ago
Glastonbury is over. It was a rollercoaster of emotion again this year. Crowds were wowed by Muse’s musical ability, floored by Adele’s blatant flair for stand-up comedy and forced to feel all the feels after Coldplay’s tribute to Viola Beach. The photography from Glastonbury is always very entertaining and something I look forward to seeing each year. […]
10 years ago
The world has gone mad. Everyone is panicking a bit as we’re faced with a lot of uncertainty regarding what lies ahead. Annoyingly, my mind tends to wander into a place that tries to make light of the situation when these kind of things occur. Today’s escapade involves using Brexit for the purpose of killer […]
10 years ago
Won’t someone please think of the Queen? Today has been a rough day for everyone, but has anyone stopped to think of Queen Elizabeth II’s worries? It’s a troubling time for her and she’s likely to have a lot of questions at present. Somehow, her Google searches have been leaked and made their way to […]
10 years ago
Michael D. Higgins is adorable. That is not up for discussion. Last night, along with the rest of the country, he lost his reason when Ireland scored a goal against Italy. I’ve watched the video of him adorably celebrating roughly 85 times so far and show no signs of stopping. This has led my mind […]
10 years ago
Milk is good for you. I’m sick of celebrities sharing photographs of themselves drinking fancy things like champagne, sparkling water and San Pellegrino minerals. Imagine if they were holding milk in these photos. Well image no more, because yours truly has got you covered. You’re welcome. George Cloo-needs Milk RiRi-plenish Your Calcium Barack […]
10 years ago
Hillary Clinton is a bit of a badass bitch on Twitter. We can’t be entirely sure if it’s actually her coming up with these fire tweets, or a team of very #woke millennials. But, either way, her account is a reliable source of entertainment lately. Her bio includes “hair icon” and “pantsuit aficionado”, which, for me, […]
10 years ago
Famous people being unintentionally entertaining on social media will never not be funny. As we’ve learned with David Beckham and Niall Horan, certain forms of social media just don’t suit everyone. Conor McGregor is no exception to that. Possibly unbeknown to him, his Instagram is extremely endearing and also a very reliable source of daily entertainment. Thank […]
10 years ago
Vaginas, am I right? You can tell a lot about yourself by the type of vagina you happen to possess. For example, if you have no vagina, it is very likely that you are a man. With similar stupidity in mind, here’s what the shape of your vagina says about you. The Pentagon Your vagina is approximately […]
10 years ago