Ciara Knight
Ciara writes features for JOE.co.uk and is doing her best.
Live chat trolling is the new prank calling. A great way to distract yourself from our impending mortality is to go onto some online live chat services and cause a bit of divilment. If nothing else, it gives the person at the other end a break from presumably angry and mean customers. It’s possible that it […]
10 years ago
Made In Chelsea is sublime. It’s addictive viewing, mostly because it allows you to fantasise about how different life would be if you were rich and stunning. I’m not ashamed to admit that I watch the series purely to escape my poor and not particularly stunning lifestyle. Imagine what I could achieve if I was […]
10 years ago
It’s a crisp Spring afternoon. There’s excitement in the air, maybe it’s the nerves surrounding meeting one of my heroes, perhaps it’s the fact that I’ve just found €3 in bus receipts in an old jacket pocket. I’m waiting on a bench in the park beside St. Patrick’s Cathedral in Dublin. I’m nervous and need […]
10 years ago
Dragons’ Den is back! It’s a brilliant programme that combines two of my favourite things: desperation and money. I wish more television shows were like Dragons’ Den. Imagine if the X Factor judges had wads of their hard-earned cash on the desk in front of them during auditions. Beggars belief! The Dragons this year are stern but fair, […]
10 years ago
Amber Heard WHAT? Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are in a bit of a pickle after they tried to smuggle a few dogs into Australia. In fairness, who among us HASN’T decided we were above the law and attempted to illegally bring our ridiculously named pooches, Pistol and Boo, on a quick tour down under? Bizarrely, the […]
10 years ago
Wine not? People lose their reason over a cheeky midweek glass of wine. Nine times out of ten, a glass of wine is consumed solely for the purpose of a smug Snapchat along with the caption ‘Sure what else wud u be doing…‘ You can tell an awful lot about a person based on what […]
10 years ago
…but we haven’t! Samantha Mumba’s 2002 ‘I’m Right Here’ music video came at a time when our country was in desperate need of inspiration, motivation and the belief that we could change the world. To our youthful eyes, it was a superb work of art and we all wanted to be her, at any cost. Looking […]
10 years ago
Inspiration can take many forms. An interpretive dance, a jaunty haiku, Justin Bieber, etc. Inspiration can strike at any time, anywhere. I like to keep a few inspirational quotes saved on my phone at all times, to get me through the hard times and remind me of the good times. Here’s some of my favourites. […]
10 years ago
Facebook likes are more sought-after than a united Ireland. Lately, it seems like everyone’s life is geared towards achieving likes on Facebook. I’m considering having a baby because I haven’t gotten well over 100 Facebook likes in a very long time and it’s a sure-fire method of validation. There’s an entire thesis in the science […]
10 years ago
Damn Royals, back at it again with the business trips. I was lucky enough to get to accompany Kate and William during their trip to India. We had a brilliant time together, I documented the entire thing with tonnes of photographs and, as a result, I’ve learned a lot about them both. Here’s what happened… […]
10 years ago
The Irish orals started on Monday. Memories of a terrifying and worrisome time have come flooding back and I don’t feel great about it to be honest. We all spouted so much garbage during our Irish orals, the examiners had to consult refuse experts with regards to the most environmentally friendly way to dispose of […]
10 years ago
People are nosey. Clicking on this article confirms that you are nosey AND LOOKIT WHAT HARM? I’ve done a bit investigative journalism and managed to get my hands on some extremely sensitive documents pertaining to many of our well-loved Irish television stars’ finances. The information I’ve uncovered is to stay between myself and yourself though, […]
10 years ago
Twitter is gas. It’s gotten a bit too safe lately, so I often find myself fantasising about a world where people on Twitter tweeted things that would shock us. Tesco would confess that sometimes they do their shop in Dunnes, Michael D. Higgins would acknowledge that he is extremely adorable and Marty Morrissey would finally […]
10 years ago
Mams are great. They come in a variety of different shapes, sizes and genders. Everyone’s Mam is a law unto themself, which adds a large amount of spice to life, both literally and metaphorically. A particularly captivating breed of Mam is the Irish Mam. Such a beautiful combination of worry, concern, love, noseyness and fussing […]
10 years ago
Stock images, am I right? A personal favourite pastime of mine is ruining everything for no reason whatsoever. It’s fun, unnecessary and extremely fulfilling. I regularly browse iStock and mentally berate the people in stock images, who are simply just trying to make a living and get by. I don’t know their backstories. I am […]
10 years ago
Contouring, am I right? My understanding of contouring is that it makes any given body part appear a little bit nicer for others to look at. Harmless. Well, you can breathe a sigh of relief if your personality is garbage, because I’m about to sort your life out in three easy steps. INTRODUCING: ~* Her.ie’s […]
10 years ago
People are losing the run of themselves. Some internet conspiracy theorists have turned their efforts towards exposing the alleged nonexistence of Louis Tomlinson’s new baby. Having taken matters into my own hands, I’ve looked closely at the photographs of Louis and his baby and I’m disappointed to report that the rumours are true and the […]
10 years ago
Books, am I right? I am sick of being told not to judge a book by its cover. I am a rogue vagabond who simply cannot be tamed. I’ll judge a book by its cover and a cover by its book. IDGAF. Strap yourself in, it’s about to get wild. Star Sand by Roger Pulvers […]
10 years ago
Snapchat, am I right? As we’ve learned, Enda Kenny has offered Micheál Martin an equal partnership Government between Fianna Fáil, Fine Gael and some Independents. Whether this will actually come about, we’ll have to wait and see. What better way to pass the time than by fantasising about the fruits of our potential new Government’s […]
10 years ago
Snapchat is gas. We’ve a particular fondness for the Face-Swap filter at the moment because we are extreme narcissists here at Her.ie. Earlier, we tried to Face-Swap Laura with our new cress plant, Ryan SeaCress, and failed catastrophically. We are appalling, we know. Luckily, we get sent in a lot of extremely gas Snapchats, which […]
10 years ago
Oh, Razorlight. Everyone’s reminiscing about their extremely cringe past as indie-loving teens, so let’s indulge ourselves further. Razorlight were the height of cringe (as were we) at a time when bandanas were rampant and eyeliner was a minimum of 2cm thick. Here’s the most cringe part of Razorlight’s video for In The Morning. [I am obligated […]
10 years ago
The Guinness World Records are a farce. They dish out awards for things such as having the biggest afro, eating the most chocolates in a minute and for being the shortest donkey. I want to live in a world where they award the simplest of wins during our day-to-day lives. Here are my propositions for […]
10 years ago
Irish names are beautiful. Half the fun of a trip abroad is having to change your name to something more palatable when the locals struggle to get their exotic little mouths around Gubnet. Tina it is. Many of us are stumped when asked what our stunning Irish names mean, so I’ve done some research and […]
10 years ago
Online shopping generates a rollercoaster of emotions. You need to have a large amount of self-control, but also a particular fondness for self-inflicted torture. Check and check. It’s a long and arduous process between the time you get a notion of wanting something, right through to the point where you actually have it. Strap yourself […]
10 years ago
Superman seems nice. For a man that wears his knickers on the outside, I reckon he has a very decent sense of humour. I have no doubt that he’s partial to the rainbow vomit filter of a Tuesday evening, the divil. Here’s what I imagine Superman’s Snapchat activity would be like… […]
10 years ago
Panama Papers, am I right? They’ve caused a fair bit of hassle after exposing the offshore taxation that some very powerful people have been doing. But there’s also some extremely sinister activity after being uncovered by these documents, some of which I have listed below. Reader discretion is advised as these are all entirely fabricated. […]
10 years ago
Irish family WhatsApp groups are gas. Everyone’s a comedian and poor Mam is generally left baffled. Here’s what happened today.
10 years ago
There’s a lot of people on Facebook. The latest figures show that there are over 200 people on Facebook, which is something that Mark Zuckerberg is sure to be very proud of. In my spare time, I like using people’s names to complete song titles. Here are some of the best I could come up […]
10 years ago
Apple Music has earned my respect today. They shared their new advert with Taylor Swift, which is quite a sight to behold. However, the director of Apple Music, John Fakesurname, has revealed that the musician wasn’t their first choice. “Honestly, our first choice was a Morbeg. They’re so adorable and extremely likeable. I prefer the green […]
10 years ago
It is simply beyond belief
10 years ago
Ireland rejoices as the water charges are officially scrapped
10 years ago
Beyoncé has shared the video for her Ivy Park collection. It’s a sporty fashion line that Beyoncé has done all by herself and to be fair, it looks very decent. While the rig-outs are very decent, I think there’s room for a bit of inspiration and motivation on the clothes themselves. Here are some prototype […]
10 years ago
Ugh, April Fools’ Day. It’s an unfunny person’s paradise. Thinking you’re gas is in the air and it is truly detrimental to society as we know it. Social media, unfortunately, doesn’t escape the infectious levels of thinking you’re a howl. Here’s the most insufferable posts we can expect to see. Facebook Twitter […]
10 years ago
Statistics are usually pretty boring. I’ve come up with some interesting statistics that might appeal to those that are easily amused and also particularly fond of Dad jokes. These are genuinely the statistics that “they” don’t want you to see, mostly because they are completely fabricated for the purpose of wordplay. Being an adult is […]
10 years ago
Today, new dog microchipping laws have come into effect. It’s a good idea so that dogs can be identified and returned safely to their owners, unless they were heading off to follow their dreams and become a famous dogtor to the stars in Hollywood, in which case the microchip will foil their plans entirely. Either way, […]
10 years ago
Avicii, Avicii, Avicii. I can’t begin to explain the error of your ways here, buddy. He’s given out his phone number and is encouraging fans to text him. As you can imagine, I’ve had an irrational desire within me to get involved. Here’s what happened when I tried to get Avicii’s attention… First, I wanted […]
10 years ago
Mars, am I right? (The planet, not the chocolate bar). It’s only a matter of time until we can all start moving to Mars. I can’t wait, but I’m concerned about what I should pack. After some extensive research and statistical analysis, here is what is likely to be waiting for us on Mars when […]
10 years ago
Oh, Twitter <3 The standard of tweets during March was through the roof. People were covering topics including but not limited to World Book Day, Easter, croissants and Paloma Faith. Standard. Here’s a selection of 25 sublime tweets that might have passed you by this month. #WorldBookDay Forgot they had to be in costume, so […]
10 years ago
Doctors hate her! Clickbait headlines are truly the scum of the Earth. If you catch wind of a life-changing trick that’s going to completely revolutionise how to pick your nose, something inside you is compelled into clicking and absorbing that information for future conversation pieces. We are animals. I’ve turned some popular films into clickbait […]
10 years ago
This will surely earn me a Pulitzer Prize. Imagine, just imagine if Twitter was around at the time of Jesus’ crucifixion. Let’s not fool ourselves, the memes would’ve been so dank, we would all be at serious risk of over-exposure to such hot takes even to this very day. The banter would be off the […]
10 years ago
The Apostles would’ve been ALL OVER WhatsApp. I’m going to go ahead and call bullshit on some blatant lies that are in the Bible. I firmly dispute the following: Jesus had twelve close friends when he was in his 30s He was able to organise 12 people together to go for dinner on a Thursday night They were […]
10 years ago
*sigh* Roddy Doyle. The Barrytown Trilogy is perfection, that is not up for discussion. However, Roddy has gotten awfully fond of a Facebook status (along with a stock image of two pints of Guinness) every time a celebrity death or something newsy happens. His heart is in the right place, but the necessity for these snippets […]
10 years ago
Justin Bieber has announced that he is cancelling all future meet and greets. He’s said that they leave him exhausted and ‘filled with so much of other people’s spiritual energy’. Ugh, nothing worse! I believe that the real reason is because he’s been forced to both meet and greet some particularly strange people recently. Having […]
10 years ago
School was class. It didn’t do a huge amount in terms of preparing us for the real world, but it was good fun. I have no idea how to pay taxes but by Christ do I remember the ‘-b’ formula. My favourite part about school was how serious the most mundane of things were treated, […]
10 years ago
Haircuts, am I right? They induce a large amount of anxiety in most of us, but unfortunately, like the letters I, F and E, they’re an essential part of life. Here’s 5 highly emotional stages you’ll find yourself going through when it’s time for a trim. STAGE 1: Booking Is there anything more stressful than […]
10 years ago
MSN was the Facebook of its day. I remember rushing home from school, waiting for the dial-up to connect and then sitting on MSN for hours talking utter nonsense with my friends. What a time to be alive! Here’s 6 types of conversations we were all guilty of having on MSN Messenger. 1. The Dead […]
10 years ago
The Pope is on Instagram! This comes as wonderful news because I can now FINALLY use the phrase ‘Eh… Is the Pope on Instagram?’ when someone asks a stupid question. It’s very likely that the Pope’s Instagram won’t actually be manned by him, but let’s pretend, for the sake of this article, that it is. […]
10 years ago
Interviews are hard. They’re stressful and induce far more nerves than they deserve to. Why should a quick chat about whether you’re suitable to work in a coffee shop result in a sleepless night, excessive sweating and a dose of the runs? I want to live in a world where you can be brutally honest […]
10 years ago
Periods, am I right? You’re a mixture of relieved and outraged to learn that the little visitor, who is quite literally a pain in the hole, is in town. There’s no doubt that if your period was a person, you’d hate her. She’s the kind of irritating little freak that shows up to places uninvited […]
10 years ago
Lies, am I right? Life is hard and sometimes you can make it a little bit easier by lying to yourself. We all do it and it’s no harm. Here’s 21 fun little lies that you’ve probably told yourself . 1. I’ll open this packet of biscuits now and just have one. I’m not an animal. […]
10 years ago