Ciara Knight
Ciara writes features for JOE.co.uk and is doing her best.
Autocorrect, you are a divil. I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve attempted to text my good friend ‘Benicio Del Toro’ and ended up calling him Benadryl. In fairness, they are quite similar in the sense that they both do wonders for treating your allergies. As you may have seen previously, Autocorrect wreaks […]
10 years ago
I am an activist. Sorry, but I make no apology for it. An activist is defined as a person who campaigns for some kind of social change. As I have demonstrated in the past with my feelings regarding the extortionate price of Freddos, it’s vital that we, as a society, speak out when we feel […]
10 years ago
The big shop is important. Mam plans the big shop all week, it’s an important social outing that needs to happen at precisely the same time otherwise the world as we know it will implode. Here’s 5 things that always happen when you do the big shop with your Mam. 1. EXCITEMENT – Anything could […]
10 years ago
Today’s a special day for my interviewee, she’s turning 200. I’m nervous. It’s lashing rain and I’ve been viciously attacked by approximately 37 umbrellas so far. Today’s guest requested that I call over to her place. An unusual ask, but I’m very obliging. As I stumble my way through Dublin city centre, I finally catch sight of […]
10 years ago
Winnie, Eeyore, Piglet and Tigger. Their names are an acronym for WEPT, and that’s exactly what I did (with joy) when I found out what those four divils have been up to. It was difficult, but I somehow managed to track them down and get some answers. Being an investigative journalist is tough, but finding answers […]
10 years ago
Irish names are beautiful. There’s nothing as enjoyable as heading abroad and being forced to alter your name to something more easily pronounced so they locals can understand it. As we’ve seen previously, female Irish names are both stunning and insightful. But what about the males? Here’s what your (male) Irish name says about you. […]
10 years ago
Wikipedia is a wonderful resource. I can’t say Wikipedia without the warnings of my former lecturers ringing in my ears saying “Don’t trust it”, “Anyone can edit a Wikipedia page”, “It’s not a reliable resource” and “You’re going to have to work harder if you want to pass this semester, Ciara”. College opened my eyes […]
10 years ago
Countdown is life. Sometimes the chosen letters accidentally spell out mildly rude words, which results in the internet losing its mind for roughly twenty minutes. But what about the blunders that didn’t make it to air? The words (and sentences) that were simply too rude for our delicate ears? Relax, we’ve found them.
10 years ago
Enya referring to her period as her Orinoco Flow
10 years ago
Excitement is in the air. It’s the beginning of August and there’s a real buzz around the place (I don’t just mean those pesky bees that appear to be multiplying). The sun’s out, children are laughing and playing, everyone’s in a good mood and a new Harry Potter book has just been released. I’m on my way […]
10 years ago
Cannes Film Festival is currently taking place in France. However, photographs of famous people delicately sipping on champagne feels a million miles away from our simple little lives over here in Ireland. The entire festival has a serious bang of notions off it, so I’m going to ruin it by pretending it’s being held in […]
10 years ago
Dublin is getting another IKEA! This wonderful, but also bank balance threatening news brings with it a number of interesting opportunities for our homes and lifestyles. As we all know, the product names in IKEA are weird and confusing, so I’ve proposed some new names for their stock, which still retain an element of the […]
10 years ago
Azealia Banks’ Twitter account has been suspended. It’s no surprise given the large amount of offensive things she’s been tweeting lately. No stone has been unturned in the world of Azealia’s harsh truths she’s been delivering. Nobody is exempt from the wrath of her tongue. Here’s Azealia’s most offensive tweets that she definitely, 100% tweeted. […]
10 years ago
Irish family WhatsApp groups are gas. Everyone’s a comedian and poor Mam is generally left baffled. Today’s topics include Friday the 13th, the heatwave we’re currently experiencing, tomorrow’s Eurovision final and summer holiday plans. Here’s what went on…
10 years ago
Eurovision is here! Providing #HotTakes on Twitter is pretty much essential when watching Eurovision. Everyone’s a 140-character-limited comedian these days. Twitter is guaranteed to be polluted with know-it-alls, cynics, moaners, sarcastic folk and people desperately trying to end up on a ’10 of the BEST tweets from Eurovision’ list. Here’s some of the tweets you […]
10 years ago
It is with a heavy heart that we must report the following deaths: 2015 is survived by his children 2014 and 2013. RIP. Kitten Heels outlived any genuine expectations bestowed upon them. RIP. “It died a long time ago” – Mam. RIP. Many say scrunchies should never have been born in the […]
10 years ago
Hi folks, Firstly, Minister, can I just say I’m absolutely chuffed to be taking part in Her.ie’s diary entry series, it’s been a lifelong ambition of mine and I feel truly honoured and blessed to have been given this platform. Yes, the rumours are true. I’m stepping down as leader of the Labour Party. It’s […]
10 years ago
Phones are useful. With most of us spending upwards of €12,000 on our phones these days, it seems only right that we protect them with nothing short of our precious little lives. There’s a wide range of snazzy covers available and people generally choose one based on budget, practicality and style. Frankly, your phone cover […]
10 years ago
Social media, am I right? It can be a wonderful tool to facilitate friendships from near and far. However, similar to Spotify at a party, social media can also turn into the absolute pits when the wrong people get a hold of it. We’re kissing the end of July now, meaning there’s the odd patch of […]
10 years ago
Mams. A personal favourite pastime of mine is randomly texting things to my Mam for no good reason whatsoever. She’s usually a good sport about things and has been known to point out my shortcomings in terms of original and successful means of divilment. Fair. This morning, I decided to text her some lyrics from Beyoncé’s […]
10 years ago
Enda Kenny is our new Taoiseach. Earlier, he met with our adorable President, Michael D. Higgins, to get his ‘Warrant of Appointment’ signed, which sounds a bit like when your parents had to sign a note proving to the teacher that you genuinely needed to take a half day for the dentist. The photograph from […]
10 years ago
LETTERLAND! As a child, the alphabet was hard enough to learn without the distraction of several quirky animals and humans doing weird things. Alas, that is where we ended up. Since departing primary school roughly five years ago, I often find myself wondering what ever happened to those freaky little Letterland characters. Let’s find out… […]
10 years ago
Oh, Twitter! Last week, we brought you the new Sylvanian Families Twitter account which has sadly since been suspended. It was truly fun while it lasted. Now, someone has started a Postman Pat tribute Twitter account, with a similarly sinister tone, and we are quite honestly howling reading some of the tweets. What’s the number for […]
10 years ago
Snapchat is great. Between tending to my pet sea monkeys and fantasising about owning more sea monkeys, I like to imagine a world where some of our favourite film characters have social media accounts. Today, I’m imagining the Snapchat account of Snow White (of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs fame). [Just a quick side […]
10 years ago
Life is hard. Every day presents us with brand new opportunities to say “UGH FFS”. Complaining is one of the few legal highs left in modern Ireland and by Christ do we use and abuse that privilege. Personally, I’m not truly happy unless I’ve something to complain about. Anyway, here’s some of our everyday struggles […]
10 years ago
Snapchat is great. There’s something very unique about the Irish sense of humour, which thankfully translates perfectly to most forms of social media. Sometimes I like to imagine a world where some of my favourite people have Snapchat. I am confident they would dominate it and instantly become viral sensations. Here’s some of my favourite […]
10 years ago
Memes are dank. As an avid ruiner of things, I’m always on the lookout for some kind of image to destroy with my stupid and thoughtless words for the sake of a few Facebook, Twitter and Instagram likes. Today, I’ve decided to tackle the world of wildlife photography. Enjoy! […]
10 years ago
Public transport is gross. You have to sit beside PEOPLE and, let’s be honest, there is literally nothing worse than people. It has recently come to my attention that the announcements on public transport are usually quite obvious and pointless e.g. “Stand clear, luggage doors operatin”. Like, we get it. I would like to propose […]
10 years ago
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. I’m sitting in a hotel room in an undisclosed location just outside Dublin. The room is booked for an hour and I’ve already been here for twenty minutes. Still no sign of my guest. I’m nervous and excited at the same time. What if he […]
10 years ago
The Met Gala took place last night. In other news that plane is still missing. Some of the outfits were lovely and some of them were fairly vile. In the interest of fairness and equality, I must disclose that I am currently wearing black jeans and a blue wooly jumper, teamed with a pair of […]
10 years ago
Gerry Adams got in trouble for tweeting a very questionable film review last night. If he wants to be taken seriously as a film reviewer, Gerry needs to stick at it (and preferably avoid racial slurs where possible). He can and will achieve his dreams of becoming a Twitter film reviewer, along with the other […]
10 years ago
The girls’ bathroom is a sacred place. It can be a terrifying experience if you are sober, but it is a social paradise when you have had a minimum of one Bacardi Breezer. Barriers are broken down and girls simply chat and compliment each other in the most beautiful way, living their respective truths and making […]
10 years ago
Twitter, Twitter, Twitter. Truth be told, I spend a very large portion of my workday on Twitter and the only way I can justify it is by insisting that I’m conducting research for my monthly roundup of funny tweets. So, with that in mind, here’s the funniest tweets I saw in April. Radio on at […]
10 years ago
Twitter is life. Mere days ago, a new Twitter account emerged that is going to change the innocence of your childhood FOREVER. @Sylvnianans, whose Twitter bio suggests it is “time to wake up”, has been responsible for inciting hysterical laughter into my life over the past week and I’d very much like to share it […]
10 years ago
It’s Poetry Day in Ireland today. I’ve seen pens and paper on sale in the shops for weeks, it just seems to get earlier every year! Personally, I’m buzzing for Poetry Day and didn’t sleep a wink last night. This morning, to my delight, I found that Father Poetry had been and left us with […]
10 years ago
We need to talk. You’re vile. There’s no beating around the bush. You are literally scum. The world would be a better place without you. Pandas are slowly becoming extinct and yet you are still here. Lingering. My main gripe with you, scrunchie, is that you are appalling to look at. There is just so […]
10 years ago
The British Monarchy are looking for a social media manager. Essentially, they want someone to send out fire tweets on behalf of Her Majesty every now and then. I am confident that I have the necessary skills to secure this job and carry it out successfully. It is a beautiful blessing that I am applying […]
10 years ago
Back in the day, Irish school books were weird. The covers included dancing cows, a pilot mouse, cycling rabbits and other such ludicrous ideas. It appears that the only way the youth of this country can learn our nation’s language is through the medium of animals doing human things. What a time to be alive. […]
10 years ago
Our country has been without a Government for weeks and we are petrified. As you may have noticed, the country is in turmoil and drastically in need of the guidance of an official governing body. It seems like the gang has been having a whale of a time in the Dáil, doing everything but getting […]
10 years ago
Quizzes are fun. There’s nothing like challenging your brain to break up the monotony of the day and distract yourself from the impending weight of your eventual mortality. I’ve used Snapchat’s new cat filter to cover some of our favourite Irish celebrities’ faces. See if you can work out who’s being mauled by a cat. […]
10 years ago
The name ‘Bunty’ is deeply funny to say repeatedly. I never read Bunty because I was very much against the British rule as a child. Luckily, my sister had no regard for our nation’s sovereignty and used to wolf into the magazines and annuals frequently. I always found the covers of Bunty deeply fascinating, even from a […]
10 years ago
Sometimes in life, everything just falls into place. I got up early this morning. Had a shower, brushed my teeth, got dressed and had a bowl of non-brand-specific Frosties. Something felt different. I knew that tonight, I would be going to bed with more knowledge about this beautiful country and its inhabitants. There was a […]
10 years ago
Gardaí are utterly fascinating human beings. There’s quite a few Gardaí knocking around the country at the moment, I would estimate that there are over 100 Gardaí in Ireland, which is quite a few. My favourite thing about our beloved law enforcers is how different they all are. Every member of An Garda Síochána is a unique little […]
10 years ago
The Census takes place tonight and we are beside ourselves with excitement. Enda Kenny decided that the Census should take place tonight, 24th April, which also happens to be the anniversary of the 1916 Rising. Take it easy, acting Taoiseach, we can only handle so much patriotism in one weekend! The Census questions are usually […]
10 years ago
Snapchat has a new update… again! The latest edition of the app allows you to swap faces with photos from your phone’s camera roll. It’s a sublime update which paves the way for next level divilment, something that we at Her.ie are always in the mood for. I went around the office disturbing people in […]
10 years ago
Guess Who? was a delightful part of many of our childhoods. It set us up with the tools to identify people by their most noticeable features such as a moustache, glasses, bald head or giant nose. It also highlighted how uncommon our exotic little Irish names were, because the characters all had extremely British names. […]
10 years ago
The Queen turns 90 today. As the song suggests, God is very likely to save her, so I am going to tread very carefully with this one. I’d quite like to live in a world where the Queen has a Snapchat account that she legitimately operates herself. I believe she has a decent sense of […]
10 years ago
Conor McGregor has called off his retirement. It was touching go for a while and people were quite upset (even though the news was very unlikely to affect most people’s day-to-day life in any meaningful way). Inevitably, at some point, Conor is going to actually retire. When the time comes, it’s important to remember that […]
10 years ago
Hello losers, Absolutely buzzing to be taking part in Her.ie’s diary entry series. It’s always been an ambition of mine to reach their tens of readers with my motivational and ludicrous words. Given that the internet is currently losing its reason over my tweet last night, it feels only right that I clear a few […]
10 years ago
There’s a lot of rumours going around that Apple are going to release a car very soon. I’m excited. Apple have completely revolutionised the tech world with their phones, computers, watches and listening devices. It’s entirely likely that their foray into the car world will be a giant success. We’ve managed to get an exclusive look […]
10 years ago